Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.

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  • HJR
    University: JNU (GuangZhou)
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 13, 2019 at 7:40 am

    The man and the woman plan for a marriage since they have become dependent on each other.

    Topic: Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

    Some people hold the view that in this modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others believe that people become more independent. I am in favor of the first opinion.

    On the one hand, in modern society, with production becomes gradually efficiency, and social division of labor becomes better detailed, not only in a firm or department but also in a providing of goods or a convey of messages is exactly assigned. Everyone’s work in this world is greatly identified, which means that nobody is independent, because this globalized world already set up a network connecting us from all over the world, and no one can survive without cooperation.

    On the other hand, modern communicating manners make our emotion expression overcome the limitation of our living community. Our identical characteristics can always find echo via the Internet. The “old eccentrics” in a closed society can easily meet their peers in another corner of the world, maybe another county, maybe another country, or maybe another continent.

    Appealing to individual identification and respecting to difference weakens our needs to live in a surrounding acceptable way and bravely pursue our interests, nevertheless, this does not mean that we are becoming more independent, on the contradictory, we are more dependent on the exclusive societies we chose to join in and hope to contribute our talent.

    To make a summary, in modern society, we apparently become independent from others, like some complaints said that people prefer to watch their mobile phone at the dinner table, but deep down we should notice that we are more dependent on our existing social community.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 15, 2019 at 2:35 am

    Score: 40.3

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Convert passive-voice sentences into their active counterparts;
    2. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    I will start working on your essay once you have resolved the issues noted above.

    Best wishes,

    Lin Qiu