Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.
 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.
 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • zhangyinuo
    University: 淡江大學
    Nationality: 中國
    November 7, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    IELTS Task 2: Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.
 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

    There is a hot debate about whether the relationship between people is getting more and more dependent or not, some people holding the opinion that people are more dependent on each other, in the meantime, others think the modern society makes people more independent. In my opinion, these two aspects exist at the same time and there is no conflict between them.

    The competition is getting more intense as well as the living cost is getting more expensive, so people work hard at their jobs and often work overtime. So they don’t have enough time to do everything by themselves, such as gardening, cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning their house, people would rather hire others to do for them and others use this opportunity to earn money. people might be more dependent on others in this aspect.

    Nowadays, people can live without any interpersonal activity, and the interaction between people is getting less too. For example, people used to know their neighbors well, but now they don’t even know their neighbors. In the meantime, people use APPs in every aspect of their life, they chat on Messager, make friends on Facebook, the real-life relationship with others becomes less, which means people are more independent on others.

    In my opinion, with urbanization as well as economic development, the social division of labor becomes more and more specific, which means people are more tend to focus on their own job and dependent on other social roles to help them with other stuff. In the meantime, people can live a life without interaction with other people because of urbanization and technology development. So that is the reason why I think people are dependent and independent on each other at the same time.

    November 16, 2019 at 3:14 am

    Score: 52.6

    Issues:

    1. Three consecutive sentences start with the same word;
    2. About half of the sentences contain more than 20 words. Try to shorten the sentences.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.