Some people think that people nowadays have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that people nowadays have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Yolanda
    University: Qufu Normal University
    Nationality: China
    May 29, 2020 at 12:23 pm

    Some people think that people nowadays have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    We live in an era where the society is saturated with multiple sorts of opportunities and possibilities. To get a sense of how pervasive the notion “nothing is impossible” is, witness the new generation’s lives. For one thing, receiving higher education in a prestigious  university ceased to be the only option for an ambitious young man. A soaring number of them who inspired by tycoons such as Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg opt for an adventure rely on their own intelligence and devotion instead of the diploma. For another, our lives are diversifying in the form of working styles, transportation, travelling, dressing and every aspect.

    Being offered with such varieties of choices has always been seen as a force for good. To start with, -today’s youth are the most well-rounded generation ever which eclipse any of their predecessors. For example, the Moocs and the freedom to learn anything to want give rise to a group of elites who are excelled in both German and computer engineering.

    However, such phenomenon could also be a recipe for disaster. The ever increasing choices laid before us results in the growing number people without a sense of belonging and perplexed about their future, who just switch from one career to another and end up in vain. Rarely do we stick to a decision resolutely and spare no effort to achieve the original goal in this modern world, where an alternative and retreat are always available.

    In a nutshell, if the right to have manifold choices be used wisely, it could certainly facilitate an individual’s personal gain and boost the economy. After all, having more choices in this dazzling world is a trend that none of us can go against but to stay with.

    June 2, 2020 at 11:40 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 55% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.