Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. › IELTS Writing › Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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March 15, 2020 at 11:59 am
Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people hold the view that only students with the most excellent academic performance should be rewarded. However, others believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant.
Supporters of rewarding achieving performers agrue that this method can motivate more students to work hard since they set examples for their classmates.Many young children fail to understand the significance of education.However, if extrinic reward more like gifts,prizes and scholarship are given to those strainght A students ,others’s desire to get favourable encouragements will be sparked,thereby striving to learn from high achievers.For instance ,They are likely to review notes and doing exercises,reaching their full potential and achieving the best grades.In this way the general performance of the class will be boosted a lot .
On the other hand ,some people support the system rewarding students who improve thir performance,believing that this can boost the motivation of average students.Because many students who rank bottom always feel down and hopeless to improve themselves, but reward to those who managing it can give them model roles gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence.In order to get recognition of others ,students with low scores may also make endeavours to do exercises and attend more lessons ,thus geeting higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that learners with the best academic performance should be encouraged. Because it is more challenging and competitive for them to keep their scores and step forward .Somestimes they may have a thought to give up as well.In this case, an impressive prize of award from others can be really powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
Score: ungraded
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 16, 2020 at 3:18 amStudents with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant.
Supporters of rewarding achieving performers argue that this method can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for their classmates. Many young children fail to understand the significance of education. However, if extrinsic rewards like gifts, prizes and scholarships are given to straight A students ,others’ desire to get favorable encouragements will be sparked, thereby striving to learn from high achievers. For instance , they are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and achieving the best grades. In this way, the general performance of the class can be boosted .
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance,believing this can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom always feel hopeless to improve themselves. But rewarding those who manage it can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others , average students may do exercises and attend more lessons, thus getting higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that learners with the best academic performance should be encouraged. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward is more challenging and competitive for them. Sometimes they may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.March 16, 2020 at 3:25 amStudents with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant.
Supporters of rewarding achieving performers argue that this method can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for their classmates. Many young children fail to understand the significance of education. However, if extrinsic rewards like gifts, prizes and scholarships are given to straight A students ,others’ desire to get favorable encouragements will be sparked, thereby striving to learn from high achievers. For instance , they are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and achieving the best grades. In this way, the general performance of the class can be boosted .
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance,believing this can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom always feel hopeless to improve themselves. But rewarding those who manage it can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others , average students may do exercises and attend more lessons, thus getting higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that learners with the best academic performance should be encouraged. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward is more challenging and competitive for them. Sometimes they may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
Score: 60.8
Issues:
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 16, 2020 at 7:54 amStudents with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant.
Supporters of rewarding achieving performers argue that this method can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for their classmates. Many young children fail to understand the significance of education. However, if extrinsic rewards like gifts, prizes and scholarships are given to straight A students ,others’ desire to get favorable encouragements will be sparked, thereby striving to learn from high achievers. For instance , they are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and achieving the best grades. In this way, the general performance of the class can be boosted .
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance,believing this can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom always feel hopeless to improve themselves. But rewarding those who manage it can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others , average students may do exercises and attend more lessons, thus getting higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that learners with the best academic performance should be encouraged. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward is more challenging and competitive for them. Sometimes they may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
Score: 60.8
Issues:
- About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 17, 2020 at 1:08 amStudents with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant. I support that the former is possibly a better option.
Supporters of rewarding achieving performers argue that it can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for their classmates. Many young children fail to understand the significance of education. But if schools, teachers and parents give rewards like gifts, prizes and, scholarships to straight-A students.The favorable outcomes will spark others’ desire to learn from them. For instance, they are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and, achieving the best grades. Consequently, the system can boost the general performance of the class.
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance. They believed that this can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom always feel hopeless to improve themselves. But rewarding those who manage it can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others, average students may do exercises and attend more lessons. So,they are likely to get higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that we ought to encourage learners with the best academic performance. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward is more challenging and competitive. Sometimes they may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
Score: 65.6
Students with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant. I support [ wrong verb ] that the former is possibly a better option.
Supporters of[ wrong preposition ] rewarding achieving performers [awkwar writing ]argue that it[ unclear pronoun ] can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for their classmates[unclear ]. Many young children fail to understand the significance[repetition ] of education. But if schools, teachers and parents give rewards like gifts, prizes and, scholarships to straight-A students[ grammatical error/unclear ].The favorable outcomes will spark others’ desire to learn from them[unclear pronoun ]. For instance, they[ unclear pronoun ] are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and, achieving the best grades. Consequently, the system[ wrong word ] can boost the general performance of the class.
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance. They believed[grammatical error ] that this[ unclear pronoun ] can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom always[ absolute statement ] feel hopeless to improve themselves[grammatical error ]. But rewarding those who manage it[ unclear pronoun ] can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others, average students may do exercises and attend more lessons. So,they[spacing error ] are likely to get higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that we ought to encourage learners with the best academic performance. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward is more challenging and competitive.[ grammatical error ] Sometimes they[ unclear pronoun ] may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
March 17, 2020 at 3:35 pmStudents with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant. I think that the former is possibly a better option.
People agree on rewarding top students, arguing that the method can motivate more students to work hard. The reason is that they can set examples for average students. Many young children fail to understand the significance of education. But if schools, teachers and parents give rewards like gifts, prizes and, scholarships to straight-A students. The favorable outcomes will spark others’ desire to learn from encouraged students. For instance, poor students are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and, achieving the best grades. Consequently, the practice can boost the general performance of the class.
But some people support the system rewarding students who improve their performance. They believe that this way can boost the motivation of average students. Because many students who rank bottom may feel hopeless to improve their performance. But rewarding those who make progress can give them role models, gaining them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others, average students may do exercises and attend more lessons. So, they are likely to get higher grades.
As for me, I am for the idea that we ought to encourage learners with the best academic performance. Because keeping their scores and stepping forward are more challenging and competitive. Sometimes the high-achievers may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
Score: 66.3
Final Revision
Students with the most excellent academic performance are often rewarded. But some people believe encouraging those who make progress is more significant [vague – use concrete verb ]. I think that the former[ be specific ]. is possibly a better option.
People agreeing on rewarding top students
, arguingargue that the method can motivate more students to work hard. [ choppy sentence ]The reason is that they can set examples for average students. Many young children fail to understand the significance [ repetition ]of education. But if schools, teachers and parents give rewards like gifts, prizes and, scholarships to straight-A students [ grammatical error/incomplete sentence ]. The favorable outcomes will spark others’ desire to learn from encouraged students. For instance, poor students are likely to review notes and do exercises, reaching their full potential and,achieving the best grades. Consequently, the practice can boost the general performance of the class.But some people support the system that reward
ingstudents who improve their performance. They believe that this way can boost the motivation of average students. [ choppy sentence ]Because many students who rank bottom may feel hopeless to improve their performance. But rewarding those who make progress can give them role models, gaining [ wrong word ] them an understanding that making progress is a kind of excellence. To get recognition from others, average students may do exercises and attend more lessons. So, they are likely to get higher grades.As for me, I am for the opinion
ideathat we ought to encourage learners with the best academic performance. [choppy sentence ]Because keeping their scores and stepping forward are more challenging and competitive. Sometimes the high-achievers may have a thought to give up as well. In this case, an impressive prize from others can be quite powerful, motivating them to hold the line.
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