Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children.

  • Yi
    University: I am a senior high school student
    Nationality: China
    August 31, 2020 at 11:53 am

    Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

    In discussion of television ,one controversial issue is whether children should watch it. Some argue that it is beneficial for them; others contend that has the pernicious effect on them. In my opinion, its advantages outweigh disadvantages generally.

    Watching TV for their after-school time, children will continually acquire knowledge and broaden horizons, which are not in the textbooks. Children who enjoy lots of shows can learn unconsciously rich expression language ,the history of general information or popular science knowledge and so on. So those wide variety of videos that are aware of the world ease,which is especially for children who is unable to read.

    Another advantage is that viewing TV can help children lighten their mood . Nowadays,parents pay excessive attention to children’s academic record which is crucial in school application,in order that children have considerable pressure,but often can not achieve relief.The reason why they do not have an appropriate approach and enough time.This is just a low-budget mode they have been waiting for in daily life.

    Without doubt, time spent watching TV also needs to be controlled.Doing it children laxatively,there is an increased chance they will be nearsighted.The goggle-box has blue light that may make eyes reduce blinking times and easily to dry,leaded to they are prone to eyestrain.Moreover,children may become absorbed in it,which lower study efficiency.They are still young ,so that they may have no control over themselves .

    In conclusion,its bad influences can be avoided, as long as parents should not allow their children free time to do it.Nurture the belief that is definitely adopt its good points and abandon its shortcomings.

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    September 2, 2020 at 2:02 am

    Score: 48.9

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Various grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.