Some school leavers tend to go traveling or work for a period of time before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages and what is your own opinion?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some school leavers tend to go traveling or work for a period of time before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages and what is your own opinion?

  • Margaret_wyz
    University: NAU
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 20, 2020 at 6:56 am

    Some school leavers tend to go traveling or work for a period of time before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages and what is your own opinion?

    Nowadays, many young people choose to take a break from their studies, travelling or working, rather than going directly to university. This is also called the gap year. I personally believe that it is a sensible choice and outweigh its negative impacts.

    One advantage related to their studies is that travelling or working will help to accumulate practical experience and improve comprehension of knowledge in books. High grades in examinations are not equal to comprehensive master in a certain subject. Besides, there is a gap between theoretical deductions and practical circumstances. Therefore, young school leavers, for example, will truly figure out the essence of a principal when they successfully use it to deal with a problem at work.

    The process of travelling or working can also reflect your holes in knowledge, boosting the desire of catching up. The education in senior high schools mainly focuses on basic knowledge of certain subjects, instead of development in all aspects. After travelling or working, students make sense of their hobbies to persist and weaknesses to enhance. They will make progress with certain purposes in university.

    On the other hand, it’s possible for these school leavers to readjust campus life. Having travelled or worked for a period of time, they get used to the high-pace life, complex interpersonal relationships or exciting adventures that are completely different from campus life. As they back to schools, they may struggle to recall basic formulas in STEM or classics of literature while other students can handle it well. This remains the barrier in their further study.

    In conclusion, students can benefit from experience accumulation and self-cognition the through a break for travelling and working, though it may cause the inconsistency in knowledge gaining.

    March 20, 2020 at 3:42 pm

    Score: 56.3

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Margaret_wyz
    University: NAU
    Nationality: Chinese
    March 21, 2020 at 3:16 am

    Nowadays, many young people choose to travel or work for a period rather than going to the university directly. I believe that it is a sensible choice with several advantages and outweighs its negative impacts.

    One advantage related to study is that traveling or working will accumulate practical experience and reinforce knowledge in books. High grades in examinations are not equal to a comprehensive grasp of one subject. Besides, there is a gap between theoretical deductions and practical circumstances. Therefore, young school leavers, for example, will figure out the essence of a principal indeed when successfully solving a practical problem with it.

    The process of traveling or working can also reflect your holes in knowledge, boosting the desire of catching. Education in senior high schools usually focuses on basic knowledge of main subjects, instead of the development in all aspects. After traveling or working, students make sense of their hobbies to persist and weaknesses to enhance. They will make progress with explicit purposes in university.

    On the other hand, these school leavers may not be able to readjust campus life. Having traveled or worked for a period, they get used to the high-pace life, complex interpersonal relationships and exciting adventures that are completely different from campus life. As they back to schools, they may struggle to recall basic formulas in STEM or classics of literature, while other students can handle it with ease. This remains the barrier in their further study.

    In conclusion, a break for traveling and working can motivate experience accumulation and self-cognition. This choice is worth encouraging, though it may cause the inconsistency in knowledge gaining.

    March 21, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Score: 53.8

    Nowadays, many young people choose to travel or work for a period rather than going to the [ article error]university directly. I believe that it is a sensible choice with several advantages and outweighs its negative impacts[grammatical error ].

    One advantage related to study[unclear ] is that traveling or working will accumulate [logical confusion- can traveling accumulate experience? ]practical experience and reinforce knowledge in books[unclear ]. [ disconnected from the prior sentence]High grades in examinations are not equal to a comprehensive grasp of one subject. Besides, there is a gap between theoretical deductions[word form error ] and practical circumstances[word form error ]. [logicalldisconnected from the prior sentence ]Therefore, young school leavers, for example, will figure out the essence of a principal[unclear ] indeed when successfully solving a practical problem with it[unclear pronoun ].

    The process of traveling or working can also reflect your[ shift of person] holes in knowledge[ unclear in English], boosting the desire of catching[unclear ]. Education in senior high schools usually focuses on basic knowledge[unclear ] of main subjects, [ punctuation error]instead of the development in all aspects[ unclear]. After traveling or working, students make sense of their hobbies to persist[unclear ] and weaknesses to enhance. They will make progress with explicit purposes in university.

    On the other hand, these school leavers may not be able to readjust campus life. Having traveled or worked for a period, they get used to the high-pace life,[unclear ] complex interpersonal relationships and exciting adventures that are completely different from campus life. As they back to schools[grammatical error ], they may struggle to recall basic formulas in STEM or classics of literature, while other students can handle it[unclear pronoun ] with ease. This remains the barrier in[incorrect preposition ] their further study.

    In conclusion, a break for traveling and working can motivate [ wrong word]experience accumulation and self-cognition. This choice is worth encouraging, though it may cause the inconsistency in knowledge gaining.