At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

  • lyt
    University: PKU
    Nationality: China
    March 10, 2021 at 10:02 am

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

    It is hard to deny that students who don’t spend enough time in classes and libraries may get bad grade,and such a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that at university more attention should be paid on classes and libraries than sports and social activities.However,such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies,and it should be examined meticulously.As far as health,efficiency and economy are concerned,I strongly hold that sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries in universities and should receive equal financial support.

    First and foremost,taking part in sports and social activities are beneficial to students’ both mental and physical health.Because social activities can improve one’s interpersonal communication skills and enhance friendship,which is crucial to students’ mental health.Meanwhile,doing sports can add muscle strength,improve body flexibility and is good for physical health.Not to mention that one can keep in good shape and gain more confidence by doing sports.

    Furthermore,the fact that sports and social activities can help students to relax and study more efficiently indicates that they have the same importance as classes and libraries.Take the case of myself,who usually play basketball and chat with friends in the afternoon.As a result,I feel more energetic when I study in the evening,so I do homework efficiently and finish it in a short time.Had it not been for the sports and chats in the afternoon,I would never work so efficiently in the evening.

    Nevertheless,a voice arises that diverting financial support to sports and social activities cost a lot and will deteriorate college’s finance situation.However,many sports and social activities can attract sponsorship,so it wouldn’t add too much burden on the college.On the contrary,a college with good sport atmosphere will appeal to more students to apply,and it will boost college’s income.Therefore,it’s wise to allocate financial support to sports and social activities.

    March 10, 2021 at 10:36 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    2. Spacing errors throughout the essay.

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    March 10, 2021 at 10:39 pm

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    lyt
    University: PKU
    Nationality: China
    March 16, 2021 at 2:03 am

    It is hard to deny that students who don’t spend enough time in classes and libraries may get a bad grade, and this fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that at university we should pay more attention to classes and libraries than sports and social activities. However, as far as health, efficiency, and economy are concerned, I strongly hold that sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries in universities and should receive equal financial support.

    First and foremost, taking part in sports and social activities is beneficial to students’ both mental and physical health. Because social activities can improve one’s interpersonal communication skills and enhance friendship, which is crucial to students’ mental health. Meanwhile, doing sports can add to muscle strength, improve body flexibility, and is good for physical health.

    Furthermore, the fact that sports and social activities can help students to relax and study more efficiently indicates that they have the same importance as classes and libraries. Take the case of myself, who usually plays basketball in the afternoon. As a result, I feel more energetic when I study in the evening. Had it not been for the sports in the afternoon, I would never work so efficiently in the evening.

    Nevertheless, a voice arises that diverting financial support to sports and social activities costs a lot and will deteriorate the college’s financial situation. However, many sports and social activities can attract sponsorship, so it wouldn’t add too much burden on the college. On the contrary, a college with a good sports atmosphere will appeal to more students to apply, and it will boost the college’s income. Therefore, it’s wise to allocate financial support to sports and social activities.

    In a nutshell, I maintain that sports and social activities deserve the same attention and financial support as classes and libraries.

    March 17, 2021 at 7:29 pm

    Invalid [Complete the revision of one essay prior to working on another one.]