At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

  • Selina
    University: Shandong University
    Nationality: China
    April 1, 2021 at 10:13 am

    At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

    The issue of fields what universities should invest is a controversial one. It has been argued that sports and social activities should receive the same financial support as classes and libraries because they are equally important. I, however, hold the latter is more significant.

    It should be admitted that sports and social activities play a positive role in students’ development. By doing sports, students can exercise their body. For example, students can gain muscle by playing basketball and decrease fat by running. Besides, they can enlarge their social circles by participating in lots of social activities since they could meet a lot of new people and make friends with them. But in my opinion, learning is still the priority of college students. So, classes and libraries should receive more financial allocation.

    To begin with, spending more money on classes and libraries can create a better study environment. A great investment in classes and libraries means many teaching resources and attractive learning atmosphere. Take my university as an example, my university spent a lot of money reforming old classes last year, which brings priceless knowledge. Also, it spent 2 million on renovating our libraries—-buying large quantities of books and changing desks and chairs into new ones. Consequently, we have easier access to various study resources and own a better study place.

    Furthermore, investing more money in classes and libraries can help universities win a better academic reputation. As we know, it is the scholarly ability of a university that accounts for a vital part of college assessment. Statistics have shown that top universities are also those that have invested the most in classes and libraries. Hence, if a university’s classes and libraries develop well, it will be better known by people. Plus, more excellent students and extraordinary professors will be attracted as well.

    To conclude, although sports and social activities are an essential part of college life, I believe that classes and libraries are more important which should receive more investment.

    April 2, 2021 at 3:01 am

    Score: 53.3

    Issues:

    1. There are many problems in terms of unnecessary passive sentences, unclear pronouns, article errors, choppy sentences, unclear sentences., etc.
    April 2, 2021 at 3:01 am

    Partial revision [All sentences are problematic.]

    The issue of fields what universities should invest is a controversial one[ grammatical error and unclear  ]. It[unclear pronoun   ] has been argued[ unnecessary passive  ] that sports and social activities should receive the [ article error  ]same financial support as classes and libraries [ missing a verb here  ]because they [ unclear pronoun  ]are equally important. I, however[ opposite to what?  ], hold the latter[what does the latter refer here?   ] is more significant.

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