sports are as important as class

  • yezi
    University: AUFE
    Nationality: AUFE
    April 17, 2019 at 3:34 am

    TOPIC: At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

    Facing with more and more fierce competition in job market,more and more people focus on education ,where the educational budgets should be devoted to rises to a hot topic.Some people claim putting money on classes and libraries,while others believe that an equal amount of financial support should be given to sports and social activities since these activities complement to classes and libraries.From my perspective,sports and social activities make a complete campus life together with classes and libraries.And there are several reasons support my opinion.

    On the one hand,doing exercises could improve physical condition, and it can help children become more healthier than a sedentary life does.Without a strong body,it is hard to participate in class .Besides a sedentary life could cause a series of diseases such as obesity and diabetes. To some extent ,it could disturb children’s attention.Take my own experience for example,when I was prepared to the college entrance examination.I found I always drop hair,which did harm to a girl’s fragile confidence Then my doctor recommended that I should do exercises at least 2 hours everyday.After 2 weeks, I not only became more energetic ,but most important focused on my study greatly.Moreover,I released extra fat and felt more relaxed.A good mood meant a lot in my examination.Therefore,according to my own experience,I find doing sports actually have some benefits.

    On the other hand,there are plenty of experience and knowledge could not supplied in class.Only actively taking part in social activities can we become more independent and out going.Also It is good way for us to get access to all kinds of people.For instance,we could make best friends and learn some precious experience for predecessors .And the experienced people will give us some guidance and help us avoid some unnecessary mistakes and problems .Therefore ,we may easily overcome difficulties when we get into troubles.For example,I would like to join in some clubs after class .English club helped me improve my speaking ability;literature club cultivated my interests on literature and speech club provided me with confidence and sharpened my social abilities.Due to my excellent performance,I had received several offers from several famous international companies after graduation. Nowadays when human resource mangers recruit new workers who would like to consider qualities in all directions.For example,he or she whether or not could get along with other coworkers.

    Although excessively taking part in sports and social activities may reduce the time and attention spending on study,I think the advantages of these activities outweigh/precede the disadvantages.However,suitable supervision could solve all problems.
    All in all,I believe social activities and sports could support and help children in job market competitions.

     

     

    April 17, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    This essay scores 0.

    Problems:

    1. Numerous grammatical/convention issues;
    2. Most sentences exceed 20 words;
    3. Paragraphs exceed 85 words;
    4. Excessive use of passive voice sentences.

    You need to rewrite the essay.