Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

  • Kitwong
    University: University of Macau
    Nationality: China
    March 26, 2020 at 10:10 am

    Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Many sports professionals become increasingly popular and they can earn more money than others due to their outstanding performances in different competitions. I think that this phenomenon is unfair to people who work in other professions, although the contributions of sports professionals should not be denied.

    It is widely recognized that sports professionals are the people who can bring the glory to their country in sports competitions and they deserve a higher salary as rewards. These talented sports professionals had to receive specialized training from day to day when they were at their early ages . As a result, they can always perform skillfully, get the satisfying grades and bring the glories to their country in various international competitions, so it is reasonable to award them with higher salaries.

    Some people argue that those who work in important professions should not be overlooked because they also contribute to their country in a different way. For example, engineers and programmers play a vital role in terms of technological innovation, while biologists and scientists have achieved breakthroughs and advances in a wide range of fields. However, the government does not pay attention to any of these contributions made by these people

    I personally believed sports professionals and people who work in other vital professions should be treated equally. These people both make extraordinary contributions to their country, it is not fair or reasonable to treat them differently. Otherwise,their confidence and morale will be shattered that they will no longer  have the willingness to serve their country

    To sum up,the government should treat both sports professionals and people who work in other positions fairly due to the fact that their contributions are equally important.

    March 26, 2020 at 8:17 pm

    Score: 48.4

    Issues:

    1. About 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Kitwong
    University: University of Macau
    Nationality: China
    March 30, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    Many sports professionals become more popular and they can earn more money than others due to their outstanding performances in different competitions. I reckon that this phenomenon is unfair to people who work in other professions, although the government should also pay attention to the contributions of sports professionals

    It is known that sports professionals are the people who can bring glory to their country in sports competitions, and they deserve a higher salary as rewards. These talented sports professionals had to receive specialized training from day to day when they were at an early age. As a result, they can always perform skillfully, get satisfying grades and bring glories to their country in various international competitions, so it is reasonable to award them with higher salaries.

    Some people argue that the government should not overlook the importance of those who work in vital professions because they also contribute to their country in various ways. For example, engineers and programmers play a vital role in technological innovation, while biologists and scientists have achieved breakthroughs and advances in a wide range of fields. However, the government does not pay attention to any of these contributions made by these people

    I personally believed that sports professionals and people who work in other vital professions should be treated equally. These people both make extraordinary contributions to their country, it is not fair or reasonable to treat them differently. Otherwise, their confidence and morale will be shattered because of the unfair treatments and they will no longer  have the willingness to serve their country

    To sum up, the government should treat both sports professionals and people who work in other positions fairly due to the fact that their contributions are equally important to the country.

    March 31, 2020 at 2:09 am

    Score: 48.9

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.