Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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May 5, 2020 at 10:09 am
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about how to reduce traffic accidents. While strict punishments play an essential role to deal with this problem, I believe that other methods matter more.
There is no denying that severe punishments avoid people from offending driving codes again. Strict measures include fine and detention, which can give someone who disobey the rules a serious lesson. Positively speaking, people who accept harsh punishments would be less likely to make the same mistakes. If there are not any strict punishments in our society, people might regard offending driving rules as an insignificant thing, so they would not be more careful while driving. Therefore, it is imperative to implement severe punishments to facilitate security of driving.
In my view, however, I suppose that other methods could be more significant in terms of improving road safety. One measure is that setting detailed rules in order to constrict the traffic flow at the same time, preventing roads and public transportation from overloading. By this way, it can effectively reduce the incidents of road accidents. Another method is propagandizing the relevant driving codes to the public and raising their awareness. If people were informed of the hazard of driving offences, they would regulate their behaviors from the insides. It could be more effective for the public to follow traffic rules and drive with more caution.
In conclusion, even though severe punishments are effective to some extent, in my opinion, there are some other measures playing a greater role to reduce road accidents.
May 5, 2020 at 6:59 pmScore: 57.4
Recommendations:
- In the 1st paragraph, ‘traffic accidents’ was introduced abruptly. Use a sentence to bridge to ‘traffic accidents’;
- Learn online when to use the plural form of a noun and when to use a singular form. When you describe something in general, don’t use the plural form. I.E. strict punishment;
- Be concise. Remove/simplify wordy words/phrases, and sentences. i.E. While strict punishments play an essential role to deal with this problem, I believe that other methods matter more. – While strict punishment could/might reduce the number of …
- Use concrete nouns to replace pronouns (it, this, that, they, etc) and unclear nouns (ie. problem);
- Avoid using There Be sentence since the Subject THERE doesn’t mean anything; worse, it often harms sentence coherence;
- Use conditional writing to strengthen your reasoning. I.e. severe punishments avoid people from offending driving codes again.- Severe punishment could/might discourage people to violate traffic rules…
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
May 6, 2020 at 1:03 am- revision：
Road safety has become a big issue currently, and people have different views about on how to reduce traffic accidents. While strict punishment could reduce the number of driving offences, I believe that other methods matter more.
Severe punishments discourage people to violate driving codes again. Strict measures include fine and detention, which can give someone who disobeys the rules a severe lesson. Positively speaking, people who accept harsh punishments would be less likely to make the same mistakes. Without any strict punishments in our society, people might regard offending driving rules as an insignificant thing and not drive carefully. Therefore, it is imperative to use severe punishments to promote the security of driving.
In my view, however, I suppose that other methods could be more significant to improve road safety. One measure is that setting detailed rules for the sake of constricting the traffic flow at the same time, preventing roads and public transportation from overloading. In this way, it can reduce the incidents of road accidents. Another method is propagandizing the relevant driving codes to the public and raising their awareness. If people knew the hazard of driving offences, they would regulate their behaviors from the insides. It could be more helpful for the public to follow traffic rules and drive with more caution.
In conclusion, even though severe punishments are effective to some extent, in my opinion, some other measures play a greater role on reducing road accidents.
May 6, 2020 at 3:29 pmScore: 56.8
Road safety has become a big issue currently [ incorrect word causing a grammatical error ], and people have different views about on [ preposition repetition ] how to reduce traffic accidents. While strict punishment could reduce the number of driving offences [spelling ] , I believe that other methods (matter more) [ vague verb; use a strong verb to clarify the meaning. ] .
[ missing a transitory word ] Severe punishments discourage people to violate driving codes again. Strict measures include fine and detention [ grammatical error ] , which can give someone who disobeys the rules a severe lesson. Positively speaking, people who accept harsh punishments would be less likely to make the same mistakes. Without
anystrict punishments in our society, people might regard offending driving rules as an insignificant thing and not [unparalleled structure before and after AND ] drive carefully. Therefore, it is imperative to use severe punishments to promote [incorrect word ] the security of driving.In my view, however, (I suppose that) [ redundant/repetition ] other methods could (be more significant to) [ vague/redundant ] improve road safety. One measure (is that) [ dull BE verb; use concrete/stronger verb ] setting detailed rules (for the sake of) [wordy ] constricting the traffic flow
at the same time, preventing roads and public transportation from overloading. (In this way, it) [ redundant/unclear pronoun ] can reduce the [ article error ] incidents of road accidents. Another method is propagandizing [ wordy ] the [ article error ] relevant driving codes to the public and raising their awareness. If people knew the hazard of driving offenses, they would regulate their behaviors (from the insides) [ unclear ] . It [unclear pronoun ] could (be more helpful for) [ wordy/use a concrete/stronger verb.] the public to follow traffic rules and drive withmorecaution.In conclusion, even though severe punishments (are effective) [use a concrete/stronger verb ] to some extent, in my opinion, some other measures (play a greater role on) [use a concrete/stronger verb ] reducing road accidents.
