Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.

  • burry
    University: Wuhan University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: 中国
    July 25, 2021 at 10:19 am

    Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.

    Given that the young spend most of their time in school, naturally, they are likely to be imposed of a variety of influence by their teachers and close friends. While some people argue that teachers play the most crucial role in school life, I believe that the influence from friends is more significant. Since they are mutually dependable and share the same experiences.

    Socialization is an essential element in a student’s school life. By virtue of communication, friends enhance their friendship and release their stress effectively. In other word, pressure accumulate when students have difficulty in studying or getting into trouble, whereas friends can help with those problems positively. Therefore, students could lead a more joyful time in school. Further, the friendship reinforced via these actions, which equip the student with the ability to socialize after graduation.

    As far as I am concerned, competition, though will increase stress on students, sometimes could inspire students to try their best and challenge themselves. Specifically, during the competition, we could learn from our friends who are better than us. On the other hand, when we are chased by others, there exists the motivation to keep excellent. To some degree, this competition is mutually beneficial.

    While teachers and students solely communicating at school, friends could meet even after class. On weekends, for instance, friends might have a party or go camping etc. This is a perfect complement to school life, for in school they mainly discuss things about learning, but after school they tend to have fun, which promoting the development of mental health. In contrast, teachers hardly make a difference after class; thus, friends are more significant than teachers under this condition.

    To sum up, it is obvious that, despite teachers are indispensable for a student, friends play a more important role in students’ school life. I hold a belief that, providing that you are a student, you would better spend increasingly time on your friends rather than merely ask for advice from your teacher. Good friends are the teacher there you can always turn to help as well.

    July 26, 2021 at 2:55 pm

    Given that (the young spend most of their time in school)[ zero-conditional  ], naturally[ redundant  ], they are likely to be imposed[ passive  ] of[ preposition error  ] a variety of influence[ grammatical error  ] by their teachers and close friends. While some people argue that teachers play (the most crucial)[  redundant ] role in school life, I believe that the influence from friends is more significant. Since they[ unclear pronoun  ] are mutually dependable and[ structural issue  ] share the [  article error ]same experiences.

    Socialization is an essential element in a student’s school life. By virtue of communication, friends enhance their friendship and release their stress effectively. In other word, pressure accumulate when students have difficulty in studying or getting into trouble, whereas friends can help with those problems positively. Therefore, students could lead a more joyful time in school. Further, the friendship reinforced via these actions, which equip the student with the ability to socialize after graduation.

    As far as I am concerned, competition, though will increase stress on students, sometimes could inspire students to try their best and challenge themselves. Specifically, during the competition, we could learn from our friends who are better than us. On the other hand, when we are chased by others, there exists the motivation to keep excellent. To some degree, this competition is mutually beneficial.

    While teachers and students solely communicating at school, friends could meet even after class. On weekends, for instance, friends might have a party or go camping etc. This is a perfect complement to school life, for in school they mainly discuss things about learning, but after school they tend to have fun, which promoting the development of mental health. In contrast, teachers hardly make a difference after class; thus, friends are more significant than teachers under this condition.

    To sum up, it is obvious that, despite teachers are indispensable for a student, friends play a more important role in students’ school life. I hold a belief that, providing that you are a student, you would better spend increasingly time on your friends rather than merely ask for advice from your teacher. Good friends are the teacher there you can always turn to help as well.

    July 26, 2021 at 2:59 pm

    Partial revision [Unclear sentences; passive; pronoun errors; article errors; grammatical errors., etc.]

    burry
    University: Wuhan University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: 中国
    July 27, 2021 at 3:10 am

    Given that young people spend most of their time in school, teachers and close friends are likely to impose various influences on them. While some people argue that teachers play the most crucial role in school life, I believe that the influence from friends is more significant than teachers since friends are mutually dependent and share the same experiences.

    Socialization is an essential element in a student’s school life. By communication, friends enhance their friendship and release their stress effectively. In other words, pressure accumulates when students have difficulty studying or getting into trouble, whereas friends can assist with those problems positively. Therefore, students could lead a more joyful time in school. Further, the friendship is reinforced via these actions, which equip the student to socialize after graduation.

    Though it will increase stress on students, competition sometimes could inspire students to try their best and challenge themselves. Specifically, during the competition, we could learn from our friends who are superior to us. On the other hand, when others chase us, there exists the motivation to keep excellent. To some degree, this competition is mutually beneficial.

    While teachers and students are solely communicating at school, friends could meet even after class. On weekends, for instance, friends might have a party or go camping, etc. These activities perfectly complement school life, for, in school, they mainly discuss things about learning, but after school, they tend to have fun, which promotes mental health development. In contrast, teachers hardly make a difference after class; thus, friends are more significant than teachers under this condition.

    To sum up, it is obvious that, despite teachers are indispensable for a student, friends play a more important role in students’ school life. If you are a student, you would better spend increasing time with your friends rather than merely ask for advice from your teacher. Good friends are the teacher there; you can always turn to aid as well.

    July 27, 2021 at 9:35 am

    Final Revision

    Given that young people spend most of their time in school, teachers and close friends are likely to impose various influences on them (simplify). While some people argue that teachers play the most crucial role in school life, I believe that the influence from friends is more significant than teachers since friends are mutually dependent and share the same experiences (good content, but this sentence is too long, delete/rewrite the first part of the sentence).

    Socialization is an essential element in a student’s school life. By (preposition error) communication, friends enhance their friendship and release their stress effectively. In other words, pressure accumulates when students have difficulty studying or getting into trouble (get into trouble or struggle studying), whereas friends can (delete) assist with those problems positively (delete). Therefore, students could (can) lead a more joyful (word choice error) time in school. Further, the (delete) friendship is reinforced via these actions (too vague, what actions are you referring to?), which equip the student to socialize after graduation.

    Though it will (delete) increases stress on students, competition sometimes could (delete) inspires students to try their best and challenge themselves. Specifically, during the competition, we could learn from our friends who are superior to us (When we compete, we learn from our friends who have different skills than us). On the other hand, when others chase (word choice error) us, there exists the motivation to keep (be) excellent. To some degree, this competition is mutually beneficial.

    While teachers and students are solely communicating at school, friends could meet even (often meet) after class. On weekends, for instance, friends might have a party or go camping, etc (delete). These activities perfectly complement school life, for, in school, (because at school) they mainly discuss things about (delete) learning, but after school, they tend to have fun, which promotes mental health development (delete). In contrast, teachers hardly make a difference after class; thus, friends are more significant than teachers under this condition (rewrite sentence, avoid constructing sentences that need a semicolon).

    To sum up, it is obvious that, (delete) despite (while) teachers are indispensable for a student, friends play a more important role in students’ school life. If you are a student, you would better spend increasing (delete) time with your friends rather than merely ask for advice from your teacher (only asking your teacher for advice). Good friends are the teacher there (what does this mean); you can always turn to aid as well. (rewrite sentence, avoid constructing sentences that need a semicolon).

    July 27, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    Final revision.

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