Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends

  • 2714127710
    University: High school senior
    Nationality: China
    October 17, 2020 at 6:31 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Friends and teachers, the people that students can spend most of their time with, both have a meaningful influence on students. The difference between teachers and friends is that teachers mainly influence students’ study, while friends mainly influence students’ daily habits. However, I believe friends have more influence than teachers do for two main reasons.
    To begin with, typically, most students spend their time with friends during school, weekend, or many years but only see their teachers during class time. Therefore, students have more time talking with friends and understanding each other’s ideas. Some students might change for one opinion from friends. On the contrary, students hardly talk deeply with teachers since students have a different class schedule each year. How can teachers have more influence on students without knowing them? I think that teachers can not change students too much because their relationship had not yet reached the point where it would completely change students’ ideas.
    Second, most students and their friends are about the same age. Thus, they have many things in common. They can discuss homework together or play video games on weekends. During the time they spend together, friends may influence students. For example, I always play badminton with my friends. He does not only help me improve my skills but also encourages me to keep exercising. Thanks to him, I have a healthier body. Meanwhile, because of the generation gap, many teachers don’t have a similar topic to students. This situation also limits teachers’ interaction with students since they mainly talk about something academic when they meet.
    All in all, I have to admit that teachers may influence their students a lot if they have a good relationship. As adults, teachers often give valuable advice, which can guide or even change their students’ minds. But this kind of situation is not very common. I still believe that the more time we spend with someone, the more they affect us, so I do agree that friends influence students more than teachers do.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    October 19, 2020 at 4:03 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.
    2. Make your argument clear in your introduction – perhaps shortly state the two main reasons
    3. Only use one transition phrase per sentence

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.