In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.

  • Tara
    University: Zhejiang Formal Uni
    Nationality: China
    April 8, 2020 at 7:44 am

    In some schools, students must study music and learn to play a musical instrument. In other schools, studying music may not be required or there may be no music classes at all. Do you think all students should have to study music? Support your opinion with reasons and examples.

    Music is an integral part of our lives and many believe it should be an academic discipline available in schools in which students simultaneously develop cognitive abilities, physical abilities, and social skills. Genuinely, I hold the opinion that studying music is as crucial as other compulsory subjects. Here are the reasons.

    To begin with, even though music can’t be seen as an appraisal of our learning ability, this subject has the power to well adjust students’ mindsets as long as there exists some distressing stuff in the school life. One of the reasons is because the genres of music which students can choose what they like and this can be beneficial for them to release the stress or draw their intensive focus away from study for a while. Basically, to some point, music plays as a buffer in students’ campus life.

    Admittedly, as to some students, music conjuncts with some certain knowledge is possibly able to be one’s career and to be the life-target. So here music set in the schools can successfully elicit the correspondent potential of music for a great deal of students. Without denying, this consequence for students who study music with conscientious attitude are relatively win their future compared with those who are just sitting there accepting daily rigid education.

    Generally speaking, whether students own the enthusiasm towards music is count on their dependent cognition. Schools are supposed to be instructors in setting lessons instead of the compulsory demanders. We are expected to transfer the decisive rights to students, which is much more meaningful and instructive in education.

    Above all, music in students’ campus life bring about the potential development of career as well as being the stress-relieving object impersonally. If music can be implemented as an efficient tool of education, it is a greatly progressive accomplishment in educated area.

    April 15, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    Score: 50.1

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.