Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

  • zuozuobang
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    March 22, 2020 at 10:32 am

    Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    People have different views about the idea that whether a better qualification benefits getting a better job or not. While obtaining a job straight after graduation is feasible, I believe that getting a higher degree is more useful for the personal development.

    On the one hand, there are many advantages for people to choose to go into the work field straight. People who advocate this idea think that it can get more working experiences than people who continues studying further. Besides, a university degree is not necessary for many service professions, such as waiters and plumbers. This kind of work needs more practical training rather than theoretical knowledge, which is currently a shortage in many countries. It can therefore be argued that getting a job immediately after school is advisable to some extent.

    On the other hand, it is even more important for people who want to get a better job to obtain a university degree. For one thing, a degree can open the door to better employment prospects, because most jobs require specific knowledge and skills that are acquired in the university. For instance, skilled workers are needed for sectors such as information technology and engineering. For another, economies nowadays are becoming increasingly knowledge-based, and we can see that a large amount of repetitive manual jobs are done by machine. Personally, I agree with the viewpoint that people need to study further in the university, while working straight has some merits.

    In conclusion, it seems to me that studying in the university can benefit a lot and lead a way to a more successful career than working straight after graduation.

    April 16, 2020 at 1:49 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.