Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well.

  • Yuxi Liu
    University: HuaZhong University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: China
    February 1, 2021 at 9:51 am

    Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they already know how to do well.

    There are several parameters that make a person successful, among which some are crucial. The spirit of willing to risk and adventure is always regarded as a quality which successful people possess. In my perspective, I firmly support this idea. My standpoints will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.

    First and foremost, trying new thing and take risks help people find more chances than those who just focus on things they are familiar with. It’s obviously that if you barely doing what you already know how to do well, you will never find or learn something brand new. On the contrary, if you have courage to try pristine things and take risks, you can acquire knowledge which is unknown to others. In other words, you can obtain the key to success when you exploit fields that others have not reclaimed. For instance, Steve Job, known as one of the most successful merchants, completely changed people’s perspective of the private computer. He took risks to create the electronic product which is unimaginable in the past.

    At the same time, though the period of trying news things and take risks are abound with failure, it also abound with precious knowledge. Nothing can always be smoothly. It’s certain that you will fail in the process of exploration. However, simultaneously, you will acquire knowledge which is extremely precious to you, who is trying new things. For example, I used to fail in simulating the thermodynamic behaviors of a molecule with a new method. But I eventually learned to build a new approach from that failure. Finally, I perfectly accomplish the simulation.

    Admittedly, it’s myopic to blindly draw the conclusion that successful people try new things and take risks all the time. They need to do things that they know to build the foundation of his success. Therefore, I still firmly support my conclusion because its correctness is undeniable.

    In conclusion, I suppose that successful people try new things and take risks in order to gain precious knowledge and chances.

    February 1, 2021 at 3:37 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. There are extensive grammatical errors;
    2. Wordy sentences (meaning sentences contain unnecessary words) are also a major issue.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    February 1, 2021 at 3:39 pm

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