Teachers were more appreciated and valued

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Teachers were more appreciated and valued

  • dianyoung
    University: NUTN
    Nationality: taiwan
    April 29, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teacher were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they were nowadays. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    As we were born, the first people we contacted with were parents. However, as time went pass, we soon grow up and attend school in order to learn knowledge. Teachers have played an important role to teach and transfer new aspects of the world to us since that time. In my opinion, more and more people don’t respect and view teachers as an crucial as before, so teachers are no longer highly essential and valued by society. My view is based on change of attitude, environment of study, and structure of society.

    With the attitude’s transformation, teachers played a vital person in the past. For example, at that time teachers were considered as careful and deliberate, also the purpose of them is to impart not only knowledge but also traditional concepts. Additionally, parents were fairly conservative to deem teachers as great model and ask their kids to imitate them before. Most parents often placed their hope on teachers to deliver morality idea in the past, while most parents get rid of outdated thinking and introduce open thoughts in nowadays.

    From the environment of study’s angle, the sources and materials where you can find answers to solutions were not as convenient as today. Undoubtedly, that’s why teacher was valued as a significant characters to provide lots of information to help us deal with the problem. Currently, the appearance of high technology totally reshapes our environment of study, and most students could figure out solutions by searching on computers, browsing electronic books, and lots of means without teachers’ assistance. As a result, teachers are not valued as useful to answer the students’ confusions.

    Finally, from the viewpoint of structure of society, the birth rate was so high enough then to require more teachers. Subsequently, due to more and more children gradually were on education, there were increasing demands for teachers teaching the new generation at that moment. Therefore, society could not operate without teachers then. Whereas, the population of new born declines in recent year and the society now doesn’t need teachers anymore. Meanwhile, the transformation of society’s structure completely put a huge impact on the value of teachers.

    In conclusion, according to three viewpoints mentioning above, teachers are less appreciated, valued and respected than past in today.


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    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    April 29, 2019 at 9:41 pm

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    Score: 57.5

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten the essay to 320 words;
    2. Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences;
    3. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Rewrite and resubmit your essay.

    Problems Highlight [Please be noted that there are more problems with your essay, and I will point out new errors once you re-upload your revised essay.]

    As we were born, the first people we contacted with [Grammatical Error]were parents. However, as time went pass[Spelling Error], we soon grow up and attend school in order to learn knowledge. Teachers have played an important role to teach and transfer new aspects of the world to us since that time. In my opinion, more and more people don’t respect and view teachers as an crucial [Grammatical Error] as before, so teachers are no longer highly [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] essential and valued by society. [Verbose Sentence] My view is based [Passive Voice]on change of attitude, environment of study, and structure of society.

    With the attitude’s transformation, teachers played a vital person in the past. For example, at that time teachers were considered [Passive Voice] as careful and deliberate,[Punctuation Error] also the purpose of them is to impart not only knowledge but also traditional concepts. [Verbose Sentence]Additionally, parents were fairly [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] conservative to deem teachers as great model and ask their kids to imitate them before. [Verbose Sentence]Most parents often placed their hope on teachers to deliver morality idea in the past, while most parents get rid of outdated thinking and introduce open thoughts in [Grammatical Error ]nowadays.[Verbose Sentence]

    From the environment of study’s angle, the sources and materials where you can find answers to solutions were not as convenient as today. Undoubtedly[Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] , [Punctuation Error]that’s why teacher [Grammatical Error]was valued [Passive Voice]as a significant characters [Grammatical Error]to provide lots of information to help us deal with the problem. [Verbose Sentence]Currently, the appearance of high technology totally[Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] reshapes our environment of study, and most students could figure out solutions by searching on computers, browsing electronic books, and lots of means without teachers’ assistance. [Verbose Sentence]As a result, teachers are not valued as useful to answer the students’ confusions.

    Finally, from the viewpoint of structure [Grammatical Error]of society, the birth rate was so high enough then to require more teachers. Subsequently, due to more and more children gradually [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] were on education, there were increasing demands for teachers teaching the new generation at that moment. [Verbose Sentence]Therefore, society could not operate without teachers then. Whereas, the population of new born [Spelling Error]declines in recent year and the society now doesn’t need teachers anymore. Meanwhile, the transformation of society’s structure completely put a huge impact on the value of teachers.

    In conclusion, according to three viewpoints mentioning above, teachers are less appreciated, valued and respected than past in today. [Repetition]

    dianyoung
    University: NUTN
    Nationality: taiwan
    May 1, 2019 at 7:01 am

     

    As we were born, the first people we contacted were parents. However, as time went by, we soon grow up and attend school in order to learn knowledge. Teachers have played an important role to teach and transfer new aspects of the world to us since that time. In my opinion, more and more people don’t respect and view teachers as an crucial people as before, so teachers are no longer essential and valued by society. The bases of my views are alternation of attitude, transformation of educational environment, and change of society’s structure

    With the attitude’s transformation, teachers played a vital person in the past. For example, at that time the purpose of teachers considered as careful and deliberate is to impart not only knowledge but also traditional concepts. Additionally, parents were conservative to deem teachers as great model and ask their kids to imitate them before. Most parents often placed their hope on teachers to deliver morality idea in the past, while most of them get rid of outdated thinking and introduce open thoughts nowadays.

    From the environment of study’s angle, the sources and materials where you can find answers to solutions were not as convenient as today. That’s why teachers valued as significant characters  provide lots of information to help us deal with the problem. Currently, the appearance of high technology  reshapes our environment of study, and most students could figure out solutions by searching on computers, browsing electronic books, and lots of means without teachers’ assistance. As a result, teachers are not valued as useful to answer the students’ confusions.

    Finally, from the viewpoint of society’s structure, the birth rate was so high enough then to require more teachers. Subsequently, due to more and more children were on education, there were increasing demands for teachers teaching the new generation at that moment. Therefore, society could not operate without teachers then. Whereas, the population of newborn declines in recent year and the society now doesn’t need teachers anymore. Meanwhile, the transformation of society’s structure completely put a huge impact on the value of teachers.

    According to three aspects of examing the value of teacher by comparing past and present, people’s attitude of education is broad and encouraging  kids to figure out solution by themselves are prevail at the same time. In conclusion, teachers are less appreciated and needed than past in today.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    May 1, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    Score: 56.7

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten your essay to 320 words;
    2. Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences;
    3. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

    Rewrite and resubmit your essay.

    Problems Highlight

    As we were born, the first people we contacted were parents. However, as time went by, we soon grow up and attend school in order to learn knowledge. Teachers have played an important role to teach and transfer new aspects of the world to us since that time. In my opinion, more and more people don’t respect and view teachers as an crucial [Grammatical Error]people as before, so teachers are no longer essential and valued by society. [Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]The bases of my views are alternation [Article Issue]of attitude, transformation [Article Issue]of educational[Article Issue] environment, and change of society’s structure.[Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]

    With the attitude’s transformation, teachers played a vital person in the past. For example, at that time the purpose of teachers considered as careful and deliberate is to impart not only knowledge but also traditional concepts. [Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]Additionally, parents were conservative to deem teachers as [Article Issue]great model and ask their kids to imitate them before. Most parents often placed their hope on teachers to deliver morality idea in the past, while most of them get rid of outdated thinking and introduce open thoughts nowadays.[Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]

    From the environment of study’s angle, the sources and materials where you can find answers to solutions were not as convenient as today. That’s why teachers valued as significant characters provide [Grammatical Error]lots of information to help us deal with the problem. Currently, the appearance of high technology reshapes our environment of study, and most students could figure out solutions by searching on computers, browsing electronic books, and lots of means without teachers’ assistance.[Verbose, hard-to-read sentence] As a result, teachers are not valued as useful to answer the students’ confusions.

    Finally, from the viewpoint of society’s structure, the birth rate was so high enough then to require more teachers. Subsequently, due to more and more children were on education, there were increasing demands for teachers teaching the new generation at that moment. [Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]Therefore, society could not operate without teachers then. Whereas, the population of newborn declines in recent year and the society now doesn’t need teachers anymore. Meanwhile, the transformation of society’s structure completely put a huge impact on the value of teachers.

    According to three aspects of examing the value of teacher by comparing past and present, people’s attitude of education is broad and encouraging kids to figure out [Article Error] solution by themselves are prevail at the same time. [Verbose, hard-to-read sentence]In conclusion, teachers are less appreciated and needed than past in today.