Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

  • @Lucy
    University: 河池学院
    Nationality: China
    April 19, 2021 at 2:31 pm

    Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

    A lot of television commercials nowadays try to specifically target young children. This might be the case because usually children aged two to five are easier to manipulate and market from. I think such methods of advertising should not be allowed and can cause negative consequences on children.

    Firstly, most of the young children do not understand that the advertising could be exaggerating about their product and using effective language to promote it. Young children are prone to believing whatever is being told to them; They are not capable of reason, unlike their older peers. The advertising can use this to the company’s advantage and manipulate naive children to make them believe whatever the company wants them to believe.

    Secondly, children’s minds are prone to forming strong subconscious associations which are hard to break later in life. For instance, McDonald’s uses advertisements towards children to make these children subconsciously associate their restaurant with joy and happiness. The children grow up to become addicted to McDonald’s and their products because they develop a strong childhood memory of happiness associated with McDonald’s and are unable to quit consuming their products later in life because of such feelings. This causes many health problems like childhood obesity, diabetes, etc., and is one of the reasons why many Americans today are hesitant to quit eating McDonald’s, even though they are perfectly aware of the problems it causes to health and well-being.

    In conclusion, I think using advertisements towards young children aged two to five is reprehensible and morally unethical, and I think such practice should be avoided at all costs for the greater good of our children.

    • This topic was modified 3 weeks ago by @Lucy.
    • This topic was modified 3 weeks ago by @Lucy. Reason: removing html typos
    • This topic was modified 3 weeks ago by Administrator.
    April 19, 2021 at 3:31 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 25% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    April 19, 2021 at 3:31 pm

    Please add my WeChat and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews.

    @Lucy
    University: 河池学院
    Nationality: China
    April 19, 2021 at 3:45 pm

    Can you provide me with your WeChat?

    April 20, 2021 at 11:55 am

    ivyqiulin