Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • YYYYYY
    University: BNU
    Nationality: China
    April 11, 2021 at 2:48 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Although television advertising is so common that no one would go against, yet in my opinion, for children as young as two to five years old, television advertising is better forbidden than regulated. Regarding the effects of television advertising in this age group, children should be considered first as compared with product companies.

    To start with, television advertisement is somewhat misleading, whatever regulation is enforced, and may cause young children or their parents to purchase unsuitable products. Undoubtedly, children age two to five is immature in every possible way, most importantly for this topic, in their cognitive abilities, such as differentiation and inferential deduction. They can hardly pay attention to multiple dimensions of the same product, which is necessary for rational decision-making, and will only pay attention to the dimension displayed in the advertisement.

    Take my nephew for example, everytime he watches over the cartoon, Peppa Pig, some advertisement of toys will come onto the screen and he will always ask for it. And now, fluffy toys occupy half of his room, which is totally unnecessary and frustrating for cleaning.

    Moreover, advertisement may convey some inappropriate ideas and beliefs, which may harm their behavior development. It’s easy to notice that, products are not the only thing presented in the television advertisement, advertising often comes together with a story and advocates for certain lifestyle. However, the little babies do not possess the ability to critically analyse these activities, and are very likely to imitate everything on the advertisement.

    For instance, some news a few years ago reported the terrible influence of a cartoon. After watching the cartoon about wolves and sheep, small kids tried to do some role playing and replay an episode, in which some sheep tied the wolf in a tree and decided to burn them. Eventually, the child who acted as the wolf was severely burned. Though this is not a case on television advertisement, yet it indicates similar harm might be brought by television advertisement

    In conclusion, I think television advertisement should not be allowed in the age group of two to five.

    April 13, 2021 at 1:57 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    YYYYYY
    University: BNU
    Nationality: China
    April 18, 2021 at 2:23 pm

    Although television advertising is so common that no one would go against it. However, in my opinion, for children as young as two to five years old, television advertising is better forbidden than regulated. When discussing television advertising in this age group, we should consider children first rather than product companies.

    Firstly, television advertisement is often misleading. Thus, it may cause young children or their parents to purchase unsuitable products. Undoubtedly, children age two to five is immature in every possible way, most salient for this topic, in their cognitive abilities, such as differentiation and inferential deduction. That is to say, children this age tend to focus on a single dimension of a product, which is exactly what television advertising displays. Since rational decision making normally requires the consideration of multiple aspects, television advertising only worsens their purchase decision,

    Take my nephew for an example. Every time he watches the cartoon, Peppa Pig, some advertisement about toys will come onto the screen and he will always ask for them. And now, fluffy toys occupy half of his room. This is not only unnecessary, but burdens house cleaning.

    Moreover, television advertising may convey some inappropriate ideas and beliefs, and harm children’s behavior development. As you know, products are not the only thing in the television advertisement, advertising often comes with imaginary adventure or challenges. But the little babies do not have the ability to critically analyze these activities, and are likely to imitate them.

    For instance, some news a few years ago reported the terrible influence of a cartoon. After watching the cartoon about wolves and sheep, in which some sheep tied the wolf in a tree and decided to burn them, small kids tried to do some imitation, Eventually, the child who acted as the wolf was severely burned. Though this is not a case on television advertisement, yet it indicates television advertisement may bring similar harm.

    In conclusion, television advertising should not be allowed in the age group of two to five.

    April 19, 2021 at 3:33 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision ).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    YYYYYY
    University: BNU
    Nationality: China
    May 4, 2021 at 7:39 am

    Although television advertising is so common that no one would go against it. However, for children as young as two to five years old, television advertising is better forbidden than regulated. When discussing television advertising in this age group, we should consider children first rather than product companies.

     

    To start with, television advertisement is often misleading. Thus, it may cause young children or their parents to buy unsuitable products. As you know, children age two to five is immature in every possible way, most salient for this topic, in their cognitive abilities, such as differentiation and inferential deduction. That is to say, children this age often focus on a single dimension of a product, and television advertising make good use of it. Since rational decision making requires the consideration of many aspects, television advertising only worsens their purchase decision.

    Take my nephew for an example. He likes watching the cartoon, Peppa Pig, Every time some toy advertisement shows on the screen, he always asks for them. And now, fluffy toys occupy half of his room. This is not only unnecessary, but burdens house cleaning.

     

    Moreover, television advertising may convey some inappropriate ideas and beliefs, and harm children’s behavior development. As you know, advertising often comes with imaginary adventure or challenges. But the little babies do not have the critical ability to analyze these activities, and are likely to imitate them.

    For instance, some news a few years ago reported the terrible influence of a cartoon. Some child watched a cartoon, in which some sheep tied the wolf in a tree and decided to burn them. Then they decided to do some imitation. As a result, the child who acted as the wolf was severely burned. Though this is not a case on television advertisement, television advertisement may bring similar harm.

    In conclusion, television advertising should not be allowed in the age group of two to five.

    May 25, 2021 at 9:08 am

    Although television advertising is so common that no one would go against it (incomplete sentence). However, for children as young as two to five years old, television advertising is better forbidden than regulated (rephrase). When discussing television advertising in this age group, we should consider children first rather than product (unnecessary) companies.

     

    To start with, television advertisement is often misleading. Thus, it may cause young children or their parents to buy unsuitable products (combine two previous sentences into one). As you know, (unnecessary) children age (aged) two to five is (verb form error) immature in every possible way, (split sentence into two here and make second one a complete sentence) most salient for this topic, in their cognitive abilities, such as differentiation and inferential deduction. That is to say, children this age (unnecessary) often focus on a single dimension of a product, and television advertising make good use of it (unclear, rephrase). Since rational decision-making requires the consideration of many aspects, television advertising only worsens their purchase decision (word choice error).

    Take my nephew for an example. He likes watching the cartoon, Peppa Pig, Every time some toy advertisement shows on the screen, he always asks for them (combine these sentences into one). And now, fluffy toys occupy half of his room. This is not only unnecessary, but burdens house cleaning. (combine these sentences into one)

     

    Moreover, television advertising may convey some inappropriate ideas and beliefs, (delete comma) and harm children’s behavior development. As you know, advertising often comes with imaginary adventure (plural) or challenges. But the little babies do not have the critical ability to analyze these activities, (delete comma) and are likely to imitate them.

    For instance, some news (rephrase) a few years ago reported the terrible influence of a cartoon. Some child (some children or a child?) watched a cartoon, in which some sheep tied the wolf in a tree and decided to burn them. Then they decided to do some imitation (simplify). As a result, the child who acted as the wolf was severely burned. Though this is not a (article error) case on television advertisement, television advertisement may bring similar harm. (rephrase)

    In conclusion, television advertising should not be allowed in the age group of two to five. (rephrase)

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