As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take.

  • Wyattwwwww
    University: ShanghaiTech
    Nationality: China
    April 12, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

    Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

    When people find that their lives are occupied by modern technology, they begin to be afraid of the degeneration of their thinking abilities. Surely, according to human’s great inventions, what people need to take effort on seems to be less and less. Calculators release people from doing frivolous counting. Advanced medical treatments enhance people’s confidence in their bodies, without eagerly searching for experienced experts on mild diseases like flu. With the help of Google Maps, people will not struggle with planning their traveling routes anymore. However, those conveniences never deteriorate people’s ability to thinking or imply fewer practices on think for themselves.

    First of all, people never stop thinking no matter how elegant their lives have become under the rapid development of modern technology. Instead, their concentrations alter from basic living demands like physical health to higher emotional and mental demands such as free from social pressure. It is quite harder for the human to solve those deeper questions than fundamental problems because profound ones need more efficient research methods and thinking skills. Critical thinking is one of the approaches that has developed tremendously after the industrial revolution, which help people construct new political systems to liberate themselves from terrible repressions.

    Moreover, technology promotes people’s abilities to thinking by offering more potential thinking methods and practices. Frequent communications between distant strangers became possible in social networks, which promotes the collision of people’s thoughts and the appearance of new ideas. Knowledge and new learning approaches are never so efficient to access using search engines and online courses.

    Maybe some would argue that the amount of people who can utilize those resources online is still few, accompanied by that only the elite class will desire to improve themselves rather than common ones. Nevertheless, the customers of online courses where various knowledge and thinking skills are taught are still mounting, with a considerably rapid rate. For example, Coursera, the biggest online course platform with all kinds of courses available, has more than ten million users currently, and the number is still increasing. On the other hand, without the growing thinking abilities of humans to face harder challenges, the development of technology and culturalization would not continue. Nothing can stop the trend of human’s increasing abilities in thinking, although admittedly a few people refuse to upgrade themselves.

    Conclusively, modern technology not only improves the qualities of human lives but also forces them to obtain more powerful thinking abilities. Fortunately, humans receive many conveniences from what they invented, which creates a significant circumstance to improve themselves.

     

    April 13, 2020 at 3:21 pm

    Score: 41.9

    Issues:

    1. About 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 55% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.