For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

  • sissi
    University: Wenzhou Medical University
    Nationality: China
    January 25, 2021 at 3:33 am

    For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

    The challenging question about whether relating well to others is more important than studying in the success of a future job, is always a critical one which demands attention from people in all corners of the society. It is unreasonable to assert that having the communicative competence only can one succeed in working. Though it is human nature that people always like the person who has high emotional quotient, it is important for everyone to recognize the significance of studying hard in school.

    I do concede that social network is also an important factor in success. For example, sociable person like my grandma has a large number of friends and can cooperate well with others to achieve success. What’s more, this kind of knowledge may not be available in textbooks. Therefore, relating well to others should be considered in career success.

    However, it is crucial to studying diligently at school. Every profession has its own concepts and principles for students to learn. For instance, I am a clinical medicine student, so I should learn the concepts and theories to be a qualified doctor in the future. According to my personal experience, there is no exaggeration to say that learning theories at school is significant at work.

    Additionally, academic study can substantially solve professional problems at work. Besides, people can also have more creative ideas and abilities of solving unfamiliar matters. University students need to collect information from the Internet and library to finish essays and reports, so they gain experience in analyzing different things and tackling problems effectively. Thus, it is obvious that academic study is really useful for solving problems in the future job.

    To sum up, although relating well to others is important at work, under most circumstances, it is for the benefit of future career that people ought to study hard at school.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 26, 2021 at 10:46 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. 

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    sissi
    University: Wenzhou Medical University
    Nationality: China
    January 27, 2021 at 3:56 am

    I disagree that excellent social skill is more important than studying in the success of a future job. People who have good grades in higher educational institutions could have basic professional knowledge and the ability to solve many problems at work. Though it is human nature that people always like the person with excellent communication skills, I still believe that attaining outstanding academic records is vital.

    To begin with, it is crucial to studying diligently at school. Every profession has its concepts and principles for students to learn. For instance, I am a clinical medicine student, so I should master the concepts and theories to be a qualified doctor in the future. According to my personal experience, there is no exaggeration to say that learning theories at school could excel in working.

    Additionally, academic study can solve professional problems at work. Besides, people can have more creative ideas and abilities to solve unfamiliar matters. Specifically, university students need to collect information from the Internet and library to finish essays and reports, so they can analyze different things and tackle problems effectively. Thus, it is apparent that academic study is useful for dealing with problems in the future job.

    Admittedly, some individuals deem that social network is also an important factor in success. For example, sociable person like my grandma has lots of friends and can get help from others with ease to achieve success. What’s more, this kind of knowledge may not be available in textbooks. Therefore, relating well to others should be considered in career success.

    To conclude, under most circumstances, it is for the benefit of career that people ought to study hard at school since it equips them with necessary information as well as significant skills, which are both critical the attainment of career accomplishments.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 28, 2021 at 1:59 am

    Score: 50.3

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    sissi
    University: Wenzhou Medical University
    Nationality: China
    January 29, 2021 at 12:41 pm

    I am afraid I have to disagree that excellent social skill is more important than diligent study for a career success. People with good grades could have basic professional knowledge and solve many problems at work. From my perspective, I believe that attaining outstanding academic records is vital.

     

    To begin with, it is crucial to concentrate on one’s studies at school. Every profession has its concepts and principles for students to learn. For instance, as a clinical medicine student, I should master the concepts and theories to become a qualified doctor in the future. The specialized knowledge will assist me to diagnose and treat patients. Also, only lawyers with legal knowledge can help clients. According to my personal experience, learning theories could excel in working.

     

    Additionally, academic study can solve professional problems at work. To be specific, university students need to collect information from the Internet to accomplish essays, so that they can analyze different things and tackle problems effectively. Besides, people can have more creative ideas and abilities to solve different matters. For example, scientists do experiments and think of the mechanism by which a phenomenon occurs. Musicians come up with new ideas to compose excellent music. Thus, academic study is useful for dealing with issues in the future job.

     

    Admittedly, some individuals deem that social network is an essential factor in success. For instance, a social person like my grandma has lots of friends and can get help with ease to achieve success. What is more, this kind of knowledge may not be available in textbooks.

     

    To conclude, under most circumstances, it is for the benefit of a career that people ought to study hard at school since it equips them with necessary information and problem-solving skills. These two elements are both critical in the attainment of career accomplishments.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    January 29, 2021 at 2:45 pm

     

    I am afraid I have to disagree that excellent social[word form error  ] skill [ word form error ] is more important than diligent study for[/in terms of  ] a [article error  ]career success. [ coherence problem ]People[word choice  ] with good grades could have [ develop ]basic professional knowledge [, which would help them to  ]and solve many problems at work.[ Although students working hard to earn good grades could develop…  ] From my perspective, I believe that[redundancy  ] attaining outstanding academic records is vital.

    To begin with, it is crucial to concentrate [ wordy ][concentrating  ]on one’s studies at school [remains crucial in expanding one’s knowledge into different disciplines.  ][ logical incompleteness ]. [coherence issue  ]Every profession has its concepts and principles for students to learn. For instance, as a (clinical medicine) [word form error  ]student,[ coherence ] I should master the [article error  ]concepts and theories to become a qualified[/licensed  ] doctor in the future. The [acquired  ]specialized [ medical ]knowledge will assist me to diagnose and treat patients. Also, only lawyers with legal knowledge can help clients. According to my personal experience, learning theories could excel in working.

    Additionally, academic study (can solve)[logically unclear  ] (professional problems)[confusion  ] at work[ redundant ]. To be specific, university students need to collect information from the Internet to accomplish[word choice/write an informative essay. ] essays, [punctuation error  ]so that they can analyze different things[informal  ] and tackle problems[informal  ] effectively.[ This research method undoubtedly allows students to explore theories, mechanisms, and even social implications of some sophisticated social challenges such as the COVID-19 pandemic.  ] Besides, people[word choice  ] can have[informal/develop  ] more creative ideas and abilities to solve different matters[ unclear ]. For example, scientists do[word choice  ] experiments and think of [ in order to discover ]the mechanism [behinds a seemingly complicated  ] by which a phenomenon occurs. Musicians come up with new ideas to compose excellent music. Thus, academic study[ repetition ] (is useful for)[ wordy/replace with ONE verb ] dealing with issues[redundant  ] in the future job[ repetition/wordy – potentially].

    Admittedly, some individuals deem that social network[networking  ] is an essential factor in[preposition error  ] [logically incomplete – attaining one’s  ]success. For instance, a social person like my grandma has lots of [/many  ]friends (and can[not parallel  ] get)[ that can ] help[ her ] with ease[misplaced  ] to achieve success [  with ease/to resolve many headaches]. What is more, (this kind of knowledge)[unclear  ] may (not be available )[ wordy ] in textbooks.

    To conclude, under most circumstances, it[unclear pronoun  ] is (for the benefit of a career)[wordy  ] that people[ word choice ] ought to study hard at school since it[ unclear pronoun ] equips them with necessary information and [ essential ]problem-solving skills. These two elements are both critical in the attainment of career accomplishments.[will facilitate the attainment of our career objectives.  ]