For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

  • Tinny
    University: East China University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: China
    March 18, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

    Nowadays, job market is becoming increasingly competitive. Therefore, there occurs a heat arguing that has divided people into two camps, some people think that the ability to relate to people well is more important than good academic performance, while others believe the opposite. In my opinion, I think success in a future job means gaining a decent job and perfectly handle it. Thus, I believe hard work in school exceeds good relationship.

    There’s no denying that the ability to relate well to people is important. You will be more likely to get a job with the recommend of your friend with a high status in the career and have an easy atmosphere when you already had a job and thus better finish your task.

    But I think these advantages are based on ability and knowledge. It’s hard for people to recommend for his friend if this person cannot deal with it, say recommending someone who knows nothing about math to be an accountant.

    Also, if the person knows nothing about the specific knowledge and has little ability. It may cause the failure of the whole team, for example the accountant calculates the money wrongly and brought the team to legal issues. I think there’s little possibility for him to have an easy atmosphere in the office.

    Studying hard in school, however, to a great extent will lead to strong ability and extensive knowledge, which is the basis of the future good working performance. Which one is more likely to get the job and do better? The one don’t often attend social activities but put more time on working or the one don’t really good at working but is prone to approach. I think the former will be the better choice because he will bring more benefits and that is why we work at the first place—to bring home the bacon.

    In a nutshell, I believe studying hard in school is more important for success in the future job.

    March 24, 2020 at 4:40 am

    Score: 68.4

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.