In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

  • super sweet 2018
    University: SWUPL
    Nationality: China
    February 6, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

    It is true that obesity and healthy problems have become increasingly obvious and severe in recent years. There are a variety of possible reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problems.

    In my opinion, there are several factors are to blame for the issues at hand. Firstly, modern teenagers tend to lead an irregular life these days. Many young people get accustomed to staying up late for work or recreation and getting up early with hasty breakfast, which contribute to lack of sleep and deterioration of stomach. Secondly, if people continuously put up their weight, there must be some issues with dieting habits, including eating much high-calorie food and do not have everyday diets at a fixed time. Finally, no matter students or workers, both of them are lacking in exercise since the workload is so much that they do not have disposable time to work out.

    The healthy crisis can certainly be improved. I believed that the changes must start with people’s awareness of having a better lifestyle where people do not watch television shows or play computer games too late. Also, the adjustment of eating habits could also play an important role in decreasing the obesity rate and food-related diseases because it is no better than eating less junk food and picking up more fruits when shopping in the market. At the same time, people can choose to walk to school in lieu of taking bus or private cars or do some simple sports in their office or at home to build a strong body and increase their immunity.

    In conclusion, countries will continue to face the healthy issues unless people could put more emphasis on these and relevant actions could be taken.

    February 7, 2020 at 11:34 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert them into their active counterparts.

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