The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

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  • JaneWang
    University: Endinburgh
    Nationality: China
    February 14, 2020 at 5:56 am

    The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

    The gragh clearly demonstrates the percentage of Australian males and females in varioud age groups who engaged in physical activity regularly in 2010.

    Except the 15 to 24 age group where male has higher proportion, there are higher percentage of women in all the other age groups, though the gender difference is not so largely in the group over 65 years old,(46.7% and 47.1%)

    People during 35 and 44 age has the most significant disparity between man and women. Only 39.5 % male keep doing daily physical activity which is 13 % less than female(52.5%). The situation is similar in 45 to 54 age group. As we can see, there is about 10 percent more female taking exercise than male.

    When it comes to the groups of 25-34 and 55-64 age, the proportion of male is 42.2 pecent and 45.percent respectively, and the percentage of female is 48.9 and 53 relatively. The difference is ranging between 6 and 8 percent around.

    February 14, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.