The bar chart below shows the ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The bar chart below shows the ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

  • Rainie
    University: 重庆工商大学
    Nationality: 中国
    March 9, 2021 at 12:45 pm

    The bar chart below shows the ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

    The chart compares ten countries used and consumpted most electricity in 2014.
    It is clear in the chart that China is the top one country who produce and consumpt the most electricity, with 5306 billion kWh and 5322 kWh respectively. And the second country is the United States, produced billion 4099 kWh and used 3806 billion kWh. In contrast, the united states is lower about 1000 billion kWh than China.

    We can see from the chart that the production and consumption don’t have much difference the othe eight countries, except for China and the United states. The amount of electricity in Russia is as almost four times low as the figure for the United states( 1057 billion kWh in production and 1036 billion kWh in consumption). The smallest amount of electricity is Korea, Rap, which only create 485.1 and 449.4 billion kWh in 2014.

    In conclusion, China needs electricity the most, while Korea, RaP uses the least among the ten countries.

    March 9, 2021 at 4:24 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Most sentences lack transition from the prior sentence.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Rainie
    University: 重庆工商大学
    Nationality: 中国
    March 16, 2021 at 11:42 am

    The chart compares the production and consumption of electricity of ten countries in 2014.

    It is clear from the chart that China was the first ranked country which produced and consumed the most amount of electricity(5398 billion  and 5322 billion kWh  respectively). Then the second biggest country of electricity was the United States, which was less 1300 billion kWh than China in production(4,099 billion kWh and 3,866 billion kWh) and consumption(3,866 billion kWh).

    We can see from the chart that the figure for the other eight counties were all under 1,100 kWh. The amount of production and consumption of electricity of Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, Korea, Rap were around 550 billion kWh. Korea, Rap. produced and used the least electricity, with only 485.1 and 449.5 billion kWh respectively.

    To conclude, China and United States were the dominant counties of electricity production and consumption in 2014.

    March 16, 2021 at 1:40 pm

    The chart compares the production and consumption of electricity of [ in  ] ten countries in 2014.

    It is clear from the chart that China (was the first ranked country)[ ranked first, and it  ] which produced and consumed the most amount of electricity (5398 billion and 5322 billion kWh [ ,  ]  respectively). Then the second biggest country of electricity [ Following China  ] was the United States, which was [produced   ] less 1300 billion kWh [ less  ] than China [  did ] in production(4,099 billion kWh and 3,866 billion kWh[ , respectively  ] ) and consumption(3,866 billion kWh).

    We can see from the chart that the figure[ figures  ] for the other eight counties[ /nations/states  ] were all under 1,100 kWh. The amount of production and consumption of electricity of Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, Korea, Rap were around 550 billion kWh.( Korea, Rap.)[ ?  ] produced and used the least electricity, with only 485.1 and 449.5 billion kWh[ ,  ] respectively.

    To conclude, China and [ the  ] United States were the dominant counties of[ /in terms of  ] electricity production and consumption in 2014.

    March 17, 2021 at 9:39 pm

    Final revision.

    Rainie
    University: 重庆工商大学
    Nationality: 中国
    March 26, 2021 at 7:31 am

    The chart compares production and consumption of electricity of ten countries in 2014.

    It is clear from the chart that China ranked first, and it produced and consumed most amount of electricity(5398 billion and 5322 billion kWh respectively). Following China was the United States, which produced 1300 billion kWh less than China did( 4,099 billion kWh and 3,866 billion kWh respectively) and comsumption(3.866 billion kWh).

    We can see from the chart that the figures for other eight nations were all under 1,100 kWh. The amount of production and consumption of electricity of Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, Korea, Rap were around 550 billion kWh. Korea produced and used the least electricity, with only 485.1 and 449.5 billion kWh respectively.

    To conclude, China and the United States were the dominant countries in terms of electricity production and consumption in 2014.

    March 26, 2021 at 8:08 pm

    The chart compares production and consumption of electricity of ten countries in 2014.

    It is clear from the chart that China ranked first, and it produced and consumed most amount of electricity[ spacing issue ](5398 [inconsistency in writing numbers: 5,398  ]billion and 5322[inconsistency in writing numbers  ] billion kWh[  ,] respectively)[ spacing issue ]. Following China was the United States, which produced 1300 billion kWh less than China did( 4,099 billion kWh and 3,866 billion kWh [ , ]respectively) and comsumption[ spacing problem ](3.866 billion kWh).

    We can see from the chart that the figures for[article error  ] other eight nations were all under 1,100 kWh. The amount of production and consumption of electricity of Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, Korea, [ coordinating conjunction error ]Rap[ ? ] were around 550 billion kWh. Korea produced and used the least electricity, with only 485.1 and 449.5 billion kWh[ , ] respectively.

    To conclude, China and the United States were the dominant countries in terms of electricity production and consumption in 2014.