The bar chart shows the figure for the phones sold by the top five phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
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March 4, 2020 at 3:46 pm
IELTS Task 1: The bar chart shows the figure for the phones sold by the top five phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
The bar chart shows the figure for the phones sold by the top five phone brands during the period ranging from 2009 to 2013.
Overall,it is noticeable that the number of phones which were sold by the Samsung was higher than other 4 given brands and there was an increasing trend in terms of the figure for phones sold by all the given countries with the exception of Nokia and LG.
As for Nokia whose sales number was in the first place in 2009,there was a significantly decline in terms of the phones sold by it from about 450 million in 2009 to about 250 million.When it comes to Samsung,it witnessed a steadily increasing from 230 million to the peak at 450 million over the given period.
The LG was the only brand among the rest of three whose decreased its sales to subduple.The people in global used the Apple and ZTE increased from low number in 2009 to the peak in2013.
March 4, 2020 at 4:32 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 75% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 4, 2020 at 5:38 pmThe bar chart indicates the figure for the mobile phones sold by the 5 most popular brands in the years 2009,2011 and 2013.
Overall, it is noticeable that the sales figure for Samsung was higher than other 3 brands throughout the period given , and there was an declining trend in terms of the figure for phones sold by Nokia over the same period.
The sales number of Nokia was in the first place in 2009, but there was a sale plunged from about 450 million in 2009 to about 250 million in 2013. When it comes to Samsung, it witnessed a steadily increasing from 230 million to the peak at 450 million over the given period.
When looking at the other three brands, the sales volume merely have less transformation than Nokia and Samsung. There was an increasing tendency in terms of the sale volume for Apple over the four years, while the sales for LG dropped to 70 millions in 2013. As for ZTE, the data almost remained unchanged throughout the given year.
March 4, 2020 at 5:52 pmScore: ungraded
Issues:
- More than 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- More than 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.
March 5, 2020 at 3:02 amThe bar chart indicates the figure for the mobile phones sold by the five most popular brands in the years 2009,2011, and 2013.
Overall, it is noticeable that the sales figure for Samsung was higher than other three brands throughout the given period. There was a declining trend in terms of the figure for phones sold by Nokia over the same period.
The sales number of Nokia was in the first place in 2009, but there was a sale plunged from 450 million in 2009 to 250 million in 2013. When it comes to Samsung, it witnessed a steadily increasing from 230 million to peak at 450 million over the given period.
When looking at the others, the sales volume merely has less transformation than Nokia and Samsung. There was an increasing tendency in terms of the sale volume for Apple over the four years, while the sales for LG dropped to 70 million in 2013. As for ZTE, the data almost remained unchanged throughout the given year.
March 10, 2020 at 2:18 amScore: ungraded
Issues:
- About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
- About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
March 10, 2020 at 2:22 amInvalid [No WeChat account provided.]
