Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Topics Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports.

  • ysyyao123
    University: Hunan Normal Univeristy
    Nationality: CHINA
    February 12, 2020 at 6:44 am

    Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports.

    It is no doubt that homework helps parents to cooperate with teachers. This may mislead some parents to claim that doing schoolwork together is the best way to accompany their children. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies. In my opinion, it is more meaningful to play games or sports with children.

    Nowadays, children have a heavy load of study stuff. Every day at school, they have to spend at least eight hours attending classes, preparing for exams and so forth. Just my speculation, in China, nearly ninety percent of youngsters complain about their study stress; and some of them even have rebel psychology. After school, if parents are going to supervise children as teachers do, their children will be more stressed out. Besides, some parents may not be professional enough to help children with their homework. Parents, comparing with tutors, have less patience or methodologies to teach students. As a result, it may not be efficient to study together.

    Thus, what parents have to do is relaxing and encouraging their children. To achieve that, playing sports and games is a good choice. On the one side, such activities can give children a little break. Likewise, parents can shortly escape from working and gain happiness with family. On the other side, children are able to hone multiple skills from sports games. For example, playing football teaches students how to cooperate with others, because they need to work together to achieve a short pass or a long pass. What is more, sports may cultivate a sense of responsibility, which is crucial to children’s future development.

    I have to admit doing homework is beneficial to review what has been learned and prepare for the new. However, taking a short break hardly can hurt their study performance. In contrast, after taking a break, children would gain higher study efficiency in doing homework.

    To sum up, not only for achieving higher efficiency but for gaining multiple skills and relaxing, I favor that parents should spend their spare time playing with children.

    February 13, 2020 at 3:18 am

    Score: 68.8

    I will come back to you shortly.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by Lin QiuLin Qiu.
    February 13, 2020 at 2:50 pm

    It is no doubt that (simplify to “Undoubtedly,”) homework helps parents to cooperate with teachers (to do what? – add detail). This may mislead some parents to claim that doing schoolwork together is the best way to accompany (choose different verb) their children. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies. In my opinion, it is more meaningful to play games or sports with children (why? include more detail and reasoning).

    Nowadays, children have a heavy load of study stuff (rephrase – for example “have demanding study schedules”). Every day at school, they have to spend at least eight hours attending classes, preparing for exams and so forth (delete – unnecessary). Just (In) my speculation, in China, nearly ninety percent of youngsters (students) complain about their study stress; and some of them even have rebel psychology (become rebellious). After school, if parents are going to supervise (their) children (after school) as teachers do, their children will be(come) more stressed out. Besides, (choose different transition phrase) some (most) parents may (are) not be professional(ly) enough (trained) to help children with their homework. Parents, comparing (verb tense error) with (preposition error) tutors, have less patience or (and) methodologies to teach students. As a result, it may not be efficient to study together.

    Thus, what parents have to (should) do is relaxing and encouraging (verb tense error) their children. To achieve that, playing sports and games is a good choice (reorder sentence). On the (delete) one side (hand), such activities can give children a little (change to “much-needed”) break. Likewise, parents can shortly escape from working (work) and gain happiness (awkward, rephrase) with (their) family. On the other side (hand), children are able to hone multiple skills from (by playing) sports games (delete). For example, playing football teaches students how to cooperate with others, because they need to work together to achieve a short pass or a long pass (their goals). What is more (Furthermore), sports may (delete) cultivate a sense of responsibility, which is crucial to children’s future development.

    I have to admit (insert comma) doing homework is beneficial to review what has been learned and prepare for the new (awkward, rephrase). However, taking a short break hardly can (will) hurt their study performance. In contrast, after taking a break, children would (verb tense error) gain higher study efficiency in doing homework (study skills).

    To sum up (In summary), not only for (because students will) achieving higher efficiency but for (and) gaining multiple skills and relaxing (change verb tense), I favor (believe) that parents should spend their spare time playing with (their) children.