Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

  • Harmon
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    April 1, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

    Thanks to urbanization and industrialization,the construction of our city is more exquisite,and the size of it is bigger than before.However,the development of cities also leads to some social problems like traffic jam,which takes citizens more time on commuting.On the topic of how to settle it,different minds hold different opinions.

    Some people think that it’s the optimal method to build flats for commuters near the city center as a substitute for parks and gardens.For one thing,it’s universally acknowledged that the rents of stores and buildings in downtown areas are the highest.So,in order to maximize the profit and make full use of every square,the commercial hubs and office buildings are always situated in the central city.If workers live near the city center,the distance between home and company is greatly shortened.They can even walk to office.For another,the transportation close to the center is more convenient.There are various kinds of traffic such as underground,bus,shared bikes and so forth and routes are multiple to choose.People living near the center can change the vehicle easily and don’t need to wait for a long time.

    On the contrary,others don’t think it’s the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work.On the one hand,parks and gardens provide places for workers to relieve pressure and free their minds.It’s very depressed to be surrounded by all concrete skyscrapers without any stunning views.On the other hand,replacing parks and gardens is a heavy burden to the government.

    From my perspective,I don’t think it’s the best way to replace parks and gardens downtown with apartments to save time for commute.We have several alternatives and they are even better than the method.For instance,the government can invest more to strengthen public transport,or people can take the distance from office into consideration when it comes to house hunting.

    April 3, 2021 at 3:09 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 100% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 50% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Harmon
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    April 3, 2021 at 9:16 am

    Nowadays, our city is larger and more exquisite than before due to industrialization and urbanization. However, this phenomenon leads to some social problems like the traffic jam, which takes citizens more time on commuting. On the topic of how to settle it, different minds hold different opinions.

    Some people think the optimal method is to build flats for commuters downtown as substitutes for parks and gardens. For one thing, the rents of buildings near the city center are the highest. So, to maximize the profit and make full use of every square, the commercial hubs and office buildings are always situated in the central region. If workers live near the city center, they don’t need to travel a long way to offices. They can even walk to office. For another, the transportation close to the center is more convenient. There are various kinds of traffic such as underground, bus, shared bikes and so forth. Besides, their routes are multiple. Those who live near the center can change the vehicle easily without waiting for a long time.

    By contrast, others don’t think it’s the best way to reduce time spent on commuting. On the one hand, parks and gardens provide places for workers to relieve pressure and free their minds. All concrete skyscrapers without any stunning views make people feel stressed. On the other hand, replacing parks and gardens is a heavy burden to the government.

    Personally, I don’t think it’s the best way to replace parks and gardens downtown with apartments to save time for commuting. We have several alternatives which are even better than the method. For instance, the government can invest more to improve public transport. People can take the distance from office to home into consideration when it comes to house hunting.

    April 4, 2021 at 2:40 am

    Invalid [Complete the revision of one essay prior to working on another.]

    Harmon
    University: Nanjing University
    Nationality: China
    April 4, 2021 at 12:26 pm

    Nowadays, our city is larger and more exquisite than before due to industrialization and urbanization. However, this phenomenon leads to some social problems like the traffic jams, which take citizens more time in commuting. Some people think the optimal method is to build flats for commuters downtown as substitutes for parks and gardens. By contrast, others disagree. I can’t say that it’s the best way to reduce time spent on commuting.

    It’s universally acknowledged that the rents of buildings near the city center are the highest. So, to maximize the profit and make full use of every square, the commercial hubs and office buildings are always situated in the central region. If workers live near the city center, they don’t need to travel a long way to the offices. They can even walk to get there. In addition, the transportation close to the center is more convenient. There are various kinds of vehicles such as underground trains, buses, shared bikes and so forth. Besides, their routes are multiple. Those who live near the center can change the means easily without waiting for a long time.

    On the other hand, parks and gardens provide places for workers to relieve pressure and free their minds. All concrete skyscrapers without any stunning views make people feel stressed. What’s more, replacing parks and gardens is a heavy burden to the government.

    Personally, I don’t think it’s the best way to replace open spaces downtown with apartments to save time in transit. We have several alternatives which are even better than the method. For instance, the government can invest more to improve public transport. Individuals can take the distance from office to home into consideration when it comes to house hunting.

    April 7, 2021 at 3:29 am

    Complete the revision of your other essay prior to working on this one.