Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

  • lwy1023
    University: Zhejiang University of Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 13, 2021 at 9:48 am

    Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

    Nowadays, with the expansion of cities, people have to spend more and more time cycling to work. One possible solution to this problem is to construct apartment buildings near the city center instead of parks and gardens.

    Advocates of  this believe that people need to save unnecessary time they spend on their way to work in this fast-paced society. If there were apartment buildings near downtown, workers would save a lot time ,which can increase their efficiency and make the best use of their time. Instead of travelling very far to commute,they can even walk to their offices. It has largely solved the problem of many people who live far away and have trouble in travelling to and from work because of the heavy traffic.

    However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. After all, thousands of people moved into the nemerous apartment buildings there, this would contribute to the environmental pollution and make cities become overcrowded than before.

    Therefore, one better measure to reduce the commuting time is to make traffic more efficient.For example, city’s planners could reform the distribution of roadway and the government invests on repairing road to broaden the road area.Besides, companies could take different working hour measure to ensure that workers travel to work would not get stuck in traffic.

    In fact, in addition to improving traffic conditions,taking advantages of advanced telecommunications networks can also help people shorten travelling time. It will enable people to work from home,which not only avoids the trouble of travel and reduces urban pollution but increases their motivation to work hard and makes communication and cooperation more efficient as well.

    In my opinion, focusing on building apartment buildings is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. The traffic shoud be improved, not only by reducing the volume of traffic but also by improving public transport. And it is better to make use of developed high technology,which both solves the trouble caused by travel and achieves the purpose of reducing the commuting time.

    April 24, 2021 at 2:32 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lots of grammatical errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    lwy1023
    University: Zhejiang University of Technology
    Nationality: Chinese
    May 1, 2021 at 6:17 pm

    Nowadays, with the expansion of cities, people have to spend more and more time cycling to work. One possible solution to this problem is constructing apartment buildings near the city center instead of parks and gardens.

    Advocates deem that people need to save unnecessary time they spend on their way to work in this fast-paced society. Workers would save a lot of time if there were apartment buildings near downtown. And this can increase their efficiency and make the best use of their time. Instead of traveling very far to commute, they can even walk to their offices. It has largely solved many people who have difficulty traveling to and from work due to the heavy traffic.

    However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. After all, thousands of people moved into the numerous apartment buildings there. And this would contribute to the environmental pollution and make cities overcrowded than before.

    Therefore, one better measure to reduce the commuting time is to make traffic more efficient. For example, city planneand could reform the roadway distribution and the government could invest in repairing and broadening the road. Besides, companies could take different working hour measure to ensure that workers travel to work without getting stuck in traffic.

    In fact, taking advantage of advanced telecommunications networks can also help people shorten traveling time. It will enable people to work from home. This not only avoids the trouble of travel but also reduces urban pollution. Of course,it may also increase their motivation to work hard and make communication and cooperation more efficient.

    In my opinion, focusing on building apartment buildings is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. The traffic should be improved by reducing the volume of traffic and improving public transport. It is better to make use of developed high technology. In this way,it can both solve the trouble caused by travel and achieve the purpose of reducing the commuting time.

    May 3, 2021 at 5:27 pm

    Nowadays, with the expansion of cities, people have to spend more and more time cycling to work. One possible solution to this problem is constructing apartment buildings near the city center instead of parks and gardens.

    Advocates deem that people need to save unnecessary time they spend on their way to work in this fast-paced society. Workers would save a lot of time if there were apartment buildings near downtown. And this can increase their efficiency and make the best use of their time. Instead of traveling very far to commute, they can even walk to their offices. It has largely solved many people who have difficulty traveling to and from work due to the heavy traffic.

    However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. After all, thousands of people moved into the numerous apartment buildings there. And this would contribute to the environmental pollution and make cities overcrowded than before.

    Therefore, one better measure to reduce the commuting time is to make traffic more efficient. For example, city planneand could reform the roadway distribution and the government could invest in repairing and broadening the road. Besides, companies could take different working hour measure to ensure that workers travel to work without getting stuck in traffic.

    In fact, taking advantage of advanced telecommunications networks can also help people shorten traveling time. It will enable people to work from home. This not only avoids the trouble of travel but also reduces urban pollution. Of course,it may also increase their motivation to work hard and make communication and cooperation more efficient.

    In my opinion, focusing on building apartment buildings is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. The traffic should be improved by reducing the volume of traffic and improving public transport. It is better to make use of developed high technology. In this way,it can both solve the trouble caused by travel and achieve the purpose of reducing the commuting time.