The best way to reduce youth crimes is to teach their parents parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The best way to reduce youth crimes is to teach their parents parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Chenshan
    University: Zhejiang Sci-Tech
    Nationality: China
    October 22, 2019 at 2:06 am

    IELTS Writing Topic: The best way to reduce youth crimes is to teach their parents parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    It is true that the trend towards young people commit crimes has become an issue in society. In my view, I completely disagree with the idea that teaching parents good parenting skills is the best way to reduce the crime rate, and I believe several other methods should be taken together to address this problem.

    For one thing, it is low-efficiency and even useless to reduce adolescent delinquency by telling parents what they should do. To be more specific, even parents get to know how to teach their children to become good members in society, they probably cannot teach children well like what they expect due to various reasons, like their busy schedules. Besides, young people who can identify right and wrong still have the possibility to do something against the law because of some reasons that parents cannot control. For example, young adults may take drugs or engage in a gang fight for curiosity and excitement seeking purposes.

    For another, there are other more efficient ways to help reduce the rate of adolescent delinquency. Firstly, when students study at school, teachers have the responsibility to tell them how to distinguish right and wrong by listening speeches related to crime or watching videos , thus students are able to know what they should do when facing crimes. Secondly, parents should try to spend more time staying with children to get to know their mental health and give them financial aids when children have appropriate demands. If young people are cared physically and mentally by others when they are both at school and home, they are less likely to commit crimes.

    In conclusion, in order to reduce adolescent delinquency, we should pay more attention to young people rather than only teaching their parents how to be good parents.

     

    October 24, 2019 at 1:55 am

    Score: Ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Sentences of your essay are EXTREMELY lengthy. You need to shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
    2. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific errors of your essay.