The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones

  • YEJIN
    University: Newcastle University
    Nationality: South Korean
    June 2, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    No one can gainsay that a right way of education is fundamental to produce competent and excellent children for a society. In this sense, indisputably, some people are in the opinion that praising young people helps to encourage them to ameliorate themselves but also to benefit relationship between educators and students as well as between parents and children. However, not everyone buttresses such position. There are some cases that the over-praising can spoil children in multipe aspects.

    First and foremost, there are some people who belive that praising is one of the essential route to give positive impacts on children. This is mainly due to the fact that children may feel happy and content, when their works or performance are commended and recognized by others. In this way, they may gain higher self-respect, confidence, and positive perspective on themselves in the society. In addition, this can facilitate amicable relationship between supervisors like teachers or parents and children, as children feel appreciated. Young people may feel much closer to their teachers or parents, as they are not less confronted by their mistakes, and evaluated positively for their strong points than those who are constantly blamed or scolded. Therefore, praising has certainly positive influences on directing students in a positive and constructive ways to develop their inner-being and stronger relationship with parents and teachers.

    However, what was alluded to above should not be overgeneralized to all contexts. Alongside those beneficial aspects, there are certainly negative impacts of excessive praising on children. First of all, students may not be able to find out their weakness, as the weakpoints tend to be covered by receiving over-praisings for their goodpoints. This can be significantly baneful for youngsters to deliberate over themselves and rectify their worngdoings and lifestyle. Secondly, students can be nonchalant to any type of praising, as they are always given those kind of praises. If a parent praises their child all the time, regardless of how good or bad the child does, the kid would not think that they are particularly great enough to receive such praise and start to devalue every praise(commendation, compliment) that they receive. Therefore, over-praising can make students less actively engaging in changing their problems but also less responsive and blunt to praises, which depreciates the real value and influence of praising.

    In addition, students are more likely to stay in their comfort zone where they think can get praises, and not less likely to attempt to achieve something greater than they are capable of. This can be caused, when they are over-indulged in receiving praising and are afraid of revealing their limit which may hamper them to receive such commendments. This can decrease the potential of development of a child, as he or she would not try more than they are able to do. Therefore, over-praising can inculcate negative mindset to venture to do more things more than students’ capability.

    To sum up, there is no denying the fact that praising has multifaceted benefits in development of inner-self of students. However, there are some conspicuous problems that excessive praising can cause, such as overlooking their weakness, nonchalant response to general praise, and reluctance to try more than students can do. Therefore, it is essential for us to develop a balanced praising that can teach students why they are eligible for being praised as well as how precious and authentic the praise is.

    June 8, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Score: 52.7

    Suggestions for Improvement

    • Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
    • Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
    • Shorten your essay to 320 words (It does not mean you need to write a short GRE essay; the problem is that I am too busy to work on a longer one.)

    Problems Highlight

    No one can gainsay that a right way of education is fundamental to produce competent and excellent children for a [Article error]society. In this sense, indisputably[Problematic or unnecessary adverb], some people are in the opinion that praising young people helps to encourage them to ameliorate themselves but also to benefit [Article error]relationship between educators and students as well as between parents and children. [Verbose]However, not everyone buttresses such position. There are some cases that the over-praising can spoil children in multipe [Spelling error]aspects.
     
    First and foremost, there are some people who belive that praising is one of the essential route to give positive impacts on children. This is mainly [Problematic or unnecessary adverb],due to the fact that children may feel happy and content, when their works or performance are commended[passive sentence] and recognized by others. In this way, they may gain higher self-respect, confidence, and positive perspective on themselves in the society. In addition, this can facilitate [Article error]amicable relationship between supervisors like teachers or parents and children, as children feel appreciated. [Verbose]Young people may feel much closer to their teachers or parents, as they are not less confronted by their mistakes, and evaluated positively[Problematic or unnecessary adverb], for their strong points than those who are constantly blamed or scolded. [Verbose]Therefore, praising has certainly positive influences on directing students in a positive and construc[Problematic or unnecessary adverb],tive [Spelling error]ways to develop their inner-being and stronger relationship with parents and teachers.[Verbose]
     
    However, what was alluded [passive sentence] to above should not be overgeneralized [passive sentence]to all contexts. Alongside those beneficial aspects, there are certainly [Problematic or unnecessary adverb],negative impacts of excessive praising on children.[Verbose] First of all, students may not be able to find out their weakness, as the weakpoints[Spelling error] tend to be covered by[passive sentence] receiving over-praisings for their goodpoints[Spelling error].[Verbose] This can be significantly baneful for youngsters to deliberate over themselves and rectify their worngdoings and lifestyle.[Verbose] Secondly, students can be nonchalant to any type of praising, as they are always given those kind[error of word form] of praises. If a parent praises their child all the time, regardless of how good or bad the child does, the kid would not think that they are particularly great enough to receive such praise and start to devalue every praise(commendation, compliment) that they receive. [Verbose]Therefore, over-praising can make students less actively engaging in changing their problems but also less responsive and blunt to praises, which depreciates the real value and influence of praising.[Verbose]
     
    In addition, students are more likely to stay in their comfort zone where they think can get praises, and not less likely to attempt to achieve something greater than they are capable of.[Verbose] This can be caused,[passive sentence] when they are over-indulged in receiving praising and are afraid of revealing their limit which may hamper them to receive such commendments[Spelling error]. [Verbose]This can decrease the potential of development of a child, as he or she would not try more than they are able to do. Therefore, over-praising can inculcate negative mindset to venture to do more things more than students’ capability.[Verbose]
     
    To sum up, there is no denying the fact that praising has multifaceted benefits in development of inner-self of students. However, there are some conspicuous problems that excessive praising can cause, such as overlooking their weakness, nonchalant response to general praise, and reluctance to try more than students can do. [Verbose]Therefore, it is essential for us to develop a balanced praising that can teach students why they are eligible for being praised[passive sentence] as well as how precious and authentic the praise is.[Verbose]
    Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. But the problems I pointed out above have precluded me from having a thorough review/revision of your essay. Please revise and resubmit your essay and from there I will work on the remaining issues.