The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into fulltime work did after leaving college in 2008.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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June 20, 2019 at 7:57 am
IELTS Task 1 Topic:: The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into fulltime work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The charts illustrates the comparisons between different destinations of UK graduates and postgraduates who did not have fulltime work in 2008
According to first graph, majority of students sought further study (29665), while the smallest number of them doing voluntary work with the number of 3500. In addition,the amount of graduates who chose to have parttime job and did not locate for a job was almost the same.
Similarly, it can be easily seen that the largest number of students choosing further study at 2725, which was followed by 2535 youngsters, working as a parttime occupations. The quantity of unemployment students was slightly smaller than parttime job students. The year of 2008 also witnessed the smallest number of the youth to be volunteers.
In conclusion, the number of graduates was ten times larger than the number of postgraduate students. Among the four components of the graduation destinations, further study was the most popular choice for them. There were roughly same quantity of students with Bachelor and Master degree choosing parttime job or being unemployed.Furthermore, the voluntary work was the least attractive choice for the students.
Score: 54.4
Suggestions for Improvement
 Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
 Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Problems Highlight
The charts illustrates[grammatical error] the comparisons between different destinations of UK graduates and postgraduates who did not have fulltime work in 2008[Verbose]
According to[article error] first graph, [article error]majority of students sought further study (29665), while the smallest number of them doing voluntary work with the number of 3500.[Verbose] In addition, the amount [wrong word]of graduates who chose to have [article error]parttime job and did not locate for a job was almost the same.
Similarly, it can be easily [Problematic/unnecessary adverb]seen that the largest number of students choosing further study at 2725, which was followed by 2535 youngsters, working as a [article error]parttime occupations. [Verbose]The quantity of unemployment students was slightly smaller than parttime job students. The year of 2008 also witnessed the smallest number of [article error]the youth to be volunteers.
In conclusion, the number of graduates was ten times larger than the number of postgraduate students. Among the four components of the graduation destinations, further study was the most popular choice for them. There were roughly [article error]same quantity of students with Bachelor and Master degree choosing[article error] parttime job or being unemployed.[passive]Furthermore, the[article error] voluntary work was the least attractive choice for the students.[Verbose]
Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted. Revise and resubmit your essay.
June 28, 2019 at 1:19 amThe charts illustrate the comparisons between different destinations of UK graduates and undergraduates after they leave school.
According to the first graph, the majority of students sought further study (29665). However, the smallest number of them, roughly 3500 students, doing voluntary work. In addition, the quantity of graduates who chose to work as parttime employees and did not locate for a job was almost the same.
Similarly, it can be noticed that the largest number of students choosing further study at 2725, which was followed by 2535 youngsters, locating parttime occupations.The quantity of unemployment students was slightly smaller than parttime job students. The year of 2008 also witnessed the smallest number of UK postgraduates to be volunteers.
In conclusion, the number of graduates was ten times larger than the number of postgraduate students. Among the four components of the graduation destinations, further study was the most popular choice for them. There were roughly the same quantity of graduate and postgraduate choosing the parttime jobs or without entering the work forces.Furthermore,voluntary work was the least attractive choice for UK students.
Score: 52.5
Suggestions for Improvement
 Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
 Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Problems Highlight
The charts illustrate the comparisons between different destinations of UK graduates and undergraduates after they leave school. [Verbose/confusion]
According to the first graph, the majority of students sought further study (29665). However, the smallest number of them, roughly 3500 students, doing[grammatical error] voluntary work. In addition, the quantity [wrong word] of graduates who chose to work as parttime employees and did not locate for a job was almost the same[confusion].
Similarly, it[unclear pronoun] can be noticed [passive]that the largest number of students choosing further study at 2725, which was followed by 2535 youngsters, locating parttime occupations.[Grammatical error][Verbose] The quantity [wrong word]of unemployment students was slightly smaller than parttime job students[problematic logical comparison]. The year of 2008 also witnessed the smallest number of UK postgraduates to be[ineffective verb] volunteers.
In conclusion, the number of graduates was ten times larger than the number of postgraduate students[logical incompleteness]. Among the four components of the graduation destinations, further study was the most popular choice for them. There were roughly the same quantity[wrong word] of graduate and postgraduate choosing the[article error] parttime jobs or without entering the work forces[Grammatical error][spelling error]. [Verbose]Furthermore, voluntary work was the least attractive choice for UK students.
Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision. Regards.
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