The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. “Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. “Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news.

  • SiLenCe
    University: Beijing Information Science and Technology University
    Nationality: china
    July 20, 2020 at 1:25 am

    The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

    “Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station’s coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level.”

    Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence would be needed in order to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

    As far as we all know,a successful case is absolutely needs financial support from strong sponsorships,without input from those enterprises,any company will get into trouble with money,now the late-night news program has already limited by economic resources.
    In order to cater for the new favor of most citizens,late-night news program take action to devote more time to national new,while reduce the proportion of weather and local news,a series of measures that cancel weather and local news irritate many local businesses,so they cancel their advertising contracts as a response to program’s new policy.First of all,there are many kinds of program company had their own national news sepical time,therefore,if the program want to increase national news’time, they must figure out how competitive the market is,they have to create their own character which can absorb more appliance,on the contrary,nowadays weather and local news gradually gave up by lots of local program companies,and with the rising of flexibility about weather and social safe situation due to the severe factor-coronavirus pandemic,more and more people tend to concentrate on weather and local new that they seemed to ignore before,that is why I suggest that the program should focus on improve the new features of weather and local news.Besides that,as I meantioned above,constant advertise is the life chain of every company especially program company,even they think about reduce station’s coverage of weather and local news,they should communicate with their sponsor businesses or look for new input from other company which support them to increase national news’time,so they can have a sustainable and friendly survival environment.
    All in all,the late-night news program company need to restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level so that they can protect comapny from suvival danger and grab opportunites in time.

    July 22, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Verbose, simplify language and write more concise sentences;
    2. Punctuation/formatting errors;
    3. Verb tense errors;
    4. About 90% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    5. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.