The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. “Over the past year, our late-night news program…

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. GRE Writing The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. “Over the past year, our late-night news program…

  • b065757
    University: National Taiwan University
    Nationality: United States
    December 6, 2020 at 1:38 am

    The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

    “Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station’s coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level.”

    Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

    In the memorandum, the bussiness manager mentioned a change of the news program during the past year: more time has been devoted to the national news, with less time for the weather and local news. The manager also mention the two problems faced by the television station: the complaints from viewers regarding the coverage of weather and local news, and the loss of advertising from local businesses. They then linked the two problems directly to the change and suggested that the station should restore the change. However, the clear evidence is needed for the suggestion to be valid, which apparently is not provided in the memorandum.

    First of all, the manager mentioned that most complaints from the viewers were about their coverage of the reduced weather and local news. Nevertheless, they did not mention the actual change in the number of complaints during the last year; if the number of the complaints actually reduced, it is possible that the there were many viewers that had complained about the lack fo national news during the late-night program were satisfied with the recent change and have stopped complained. The actual number of complaints of different issues during the last year and the year before it should be provided so as to effectively analyze the change in all the complaints.

    Also, there is nothing mentioned about the real reasons of the local businesses to decide to stop advertising through the television station. Maybe they just ran out of money for advertising, or maybe they found out that advertising through radio or Internet would be much more efficient, without any concerns about the recent change about the percentage of national news and local news furing the late-night news program. It’s also possible that they are unsatisfied with some specific way the station cooperate with them, and they have decided to switch to a different TV station. There can be numerous possible reasons for the decision of cancellation of the advertising contracts! It is crucial for the television station to know the actual reason for the stop of contracts, or the real problem behind the cooperation with the local bussinesses will never be identified and correctly addressed.

    Even if the reasons behind the complaints and the contract cancellation is indeed the reduction of weather and local news, there may still be some other ways to stop the complaints and to restore the advertising contracts instead of simply restore the time distribution change in the program. For example, the TV station can do a local survey to understand exactly how much time the viewers hope to watch national news and local news respectively, or what other kinds of news that they hope to watch instead, such as the trending videos of puppies on Reddit, so that they can rearrange the time section in the news programs on a sound basis; they can encourage local people to help support the business of the TV station by its own advertising. They should understand whether these measures are

    Only with the evidence mentioned above provided can the television station decide whether they should remain or restore the change, and the exact wya how they should address the problems mentions by the manager.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 12, 2020 at 10:06 pm

    Score: 52.7

    Issues:

    1. About 70% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 12, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    Please add my WeChat and remind me of sending you screenshot reviews. Thanks!