The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Travis
    University: Shantou University
    Nationality: China
    October 27, 2020 at 12:47 pm

    The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    Film and television with violence are very popular among people, especially youngsters. Although I agree that the government controlling the amount of violence in films and televisions can benefit, I do not think it is necessary.

    To begin with, the government introducing laws to restrict violence in films and televisions can reduce school bullying. Children tend to imitate what they see on television. For example, when a little boy sees a hero fighting with criminals on television, he may wish to fight with someone in school. This is one of the main causes of school bullying. Introducing laws to restrict violence in films can prevent children from accessing films with violent scenes.

    In addition, the government introducing laws to restrict violence in films and televisions can reduce crime rates. Films with violent scenes often describe crime in detail, which demonstrates criminal means and processes. When people with the ideal of delinquency gain knowledge of these, they are very likely to carry them out.

    On the other hand, restricting violence in films and televisions has an adverse impact on the development of film and television art. For example, if violence on television were restricted by the government, there would never be a television show like ‘Game of Thrones’ in the world. Violence is one of the most important elements of film and television. It would be a loss of art if it was restricted.

    In conclusion, the government controlling the amount of violence in films and television can reduce not only school bullying, but also crime rates. The government should be careful when they introduce laws to do so. Otherwise, it would cause a loss to film and television art.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    November 20, 2020 at 3:53 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.