The government should require all young adults to perform some kind of national service, such as military service or social work.

As far as economy, career development and health are concerned, I strongly hold that (no further action should government act to enquire)[  unclear ] young adults to complete national service.

First and foremost, undoubtedly, young adults are the basis [ unclear  ] of the whole country. Only if they can[ grammatical error  ] excel in plenty of affairs[ word choice issue  ] can[ grammatical error  ] the whole nation have a bright future. Meanwhile, young adults are experiencing one of the most splendid periods of their life: they face large amounts[word choice error   ] of choices that decide their future career (and have abundant knowledge )[  structural issue ] to learn. So if the government requires[ grammatical error  ] young adults to do some national services, an event [wrong word   ] that will cost them lots of time to complete, possibly they will[grammatical error   ] choose a( worse path)[ unclear  ] compared with other selections. At last, our society will be greatly harmed[passive   ] because our future is not as good as it could[ should  ] be.

Furthermore, the (fact that career development will be impeded)[ confusion; a fact means something that has been proved  ] indicates that the[ article error  ] government shouldn’t force young adults to perform national service. Take the case of my [ My  ] friend, who was forced to enter the army after [completing/leaving   ] senior high school. In the past, I viewed him as a future photographer because the photos he took[ had shot  ] were full of imagination (and always)[ structural issue  ] made others joyful. After he came back from the military, he faced a hard time looking for a job [ punctuation error  ] and finally, he became the owner of a minimart. Had it not been for [ preposition error  ] the military, my friend would learn more about photography and become a famous photographer one time.

Nevertheless, a voice arises that nowadays more and more young [many   ] adults are doing less and less exercise, so coercive national service can improve their health. Ironically, those usual services, such as social volunteer[ factual error  ] , can’t (strengthen young adults)[ unclear  ] :[punctuation error   ] Usual national services only ask you [  inconsistency in person ] to help others, clean some places, lounge around to wait for the chance to help others, (costing your spirits)[ unclear  ] and making you weary. While the harsh military work requires too[ wrong adverb  ] much and present young adults may get hurt much easier and even degrade their health[  unclear ] .

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