Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on improving young children’s education than on improving university education.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on improving young children’s education than on improving university education.

  • georgia_lin
    University: Xiamen University
    Nationality: China
    October 24, 2020 at 1:27 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on improving young children’s education than on improving university education.

    Early education and university education paly different roles in individual development. However, some argue that young children’s education is far more crucial than higher level’s education, therefore funds from the government should emphasized more on children, rather than college students. From my perspective, this is a biased misunderstanding. Both of them deserve equal attention from the authority and also should have equal financial support.

    To begin with, how universal elementary school education is partly determines how educated people are in a country. Since what young children learn in school is usually basic knowledge of life, such as meanings of different words and the foundation of math, early education serve as enlightenment in people’s informative stage. If there is limited budgets to build enough schools for children or few financial aid for kids in poor families, some of them would miss out on the opportunity for schooling and consequently less people in the younger generation would be literate. How can a country expect more talents and experts for future development if elementary education for these people cannot be guaranteed?  Therefore, for the benefits of the nation, adequate money should go to young children’s education.

    Nevertheless, university education also needs government’s financial support. The sophisticated knowledge and skills people learn in college would contribute to the society after they graduate. Medical students who study the biological structure of human body are likely to become surgeons saving patients’ lives; computer science student who learn programming and software engineering would bring more potential to the future technology. As a result, funding university education is no different from investing in future professionals, which would definitely offer huge advantages for a country’s development.

    From what have been discussed above, universities and elementary schools are two indispensable part in a nation’s educational system and it could be rigid to claim that one’ s importance outweighs the other’s and should have more funds from the government.

    October 24, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    Score: 38.1

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    October 24, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    Invalid [ Please complete the revision of your first essay prior to submitting another.]