The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

  • xinxinxinxinxin
    University: Xiamen University
    Nationality: China
    February 15, 2020 at 12:48 pm

     The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about the consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030.

    It is clear from the graph that consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 to 2030 shows upward trend of almost all 6 kind of energy. Petrol and Oil consumption contributes to largest amount of U.S. energy consumption by fuel during this period. Consumption of petrol and oil decreased slightly from 1980 with 35 quadrillion to 1995 with only 30 quadrillion after that rise steadily up to 45 quadrillion units in 2030.

    Consumption of coal and natural gas was only nearly half of that amount of petrol and oil consumption in 1980, with 20 quadrillion units of natural gas and around 16 quadrillion units of coal consumed. Amount of natural gas consumed fluctuated from 1980 to 2015 before it remains consistent. Consumption of coal increased consistently during this period and reach up to above 25 quadrillion units in 2030.

    The least amount of U.S. energy consumption is by nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower. All the three was consumed only less than 5 quadrillion units, much less than the other three. All of their consumption grew slightly at first from 1980, and from 1990 and onwards, consumption of nuclear rase slightly, that of solar/wind experienced fluctuation and did not have much change, that of hydropower drop a little bit. (208 words)

    February 20, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    Score: 57.7

    Issues:

    1. More than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. More than 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.