The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

  • Samantha Cheng
    University: Tianjin University
    Nationality: 中国
    March 29, 2020 at 2:40 am

    The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

    The graph below demonstrates the preference of overseas vistors in three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.

    In 1987, the number of overseas visitors to the coast came top with 40 thousands, followed by visitors to the mountains and the lakes. Even there were about 35 thousands coast viewers, 5 thousands less than in 1987, it’s noteworthy that the number still steadily went up to over 70 thousands in the end. The figure for lake visitors, on the other hand, kept rose smoothly and reached it’s peak of 75 thousands in 2002. However, it experienced a dramatic fall to 50 thousands in 2007. Compare to it’s two counterparts, the mountains climbers fluctuated stably between 20 and 30 thousands even the number exceeded 30 thousands after 2002.

    Overall, the coast was still the most popular place for foreign visitors to go, and the trip to mountains was always not the first choice.

    March 31, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 85% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.