The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Topics The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974

  • Irisw
    University: QUT
    Nationality: China
    May 15, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    The line graph gives information about how many goods delivered in the United Kingdom by road, water, rail and pipeline. Overall, it is clear to see that while all forms of transport saw an upward trend in the amounts of goods delivery, those of delivered by rail did not see any significant growth.

    In 1974, delivering goods by road was the most popular choice during the period, with around 70 million tonnes of goods delivered by this mode of transport. There was a steady rise in the total amount of goods, despite fluctuation, and reached about 100 million by 2002. Following the similar trend, the figure climb to just under 60 million in 1982, after which it held steady at this level and then increased again to over 60 million tonnes in 2002. At the same time, the figure for the pipeline was lowest, although it increased more than seven-fold from 3 million to 21 million tonnes during the period.

    In contrast, the amount of goods delivered by the railway system declined 25 million tonnes in 1994 and increased sharply to 40 million tonnes in 2002.

     

     

     
    Lin Qiu
    May 17, 2019 at 3:47 am

    Score: 62

    Suggestions for Improvement

    1. Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
    2. Convert passive-voice sentences into their active counterparts.

    Problems Highlight

    The line graph gives information about how many[Wrong choice of words] goods delivered in the United Kingdom by road, water, rail and pipeline. Overall, it is clear to see that while all forms of transport saw [Non-descriptive word] an upward trend in the amounts of goods delivery, those of [Grammtical error] delivered by rail did not see [Non-descriptive word]any significant growth.

    In 1974, delivering goods by road was the most popular choice (during the period)[redundancy], with around 70 million tonnes of goods delivered by this mode of transport. There was a steady rise in the total amount of goods, despite fluctuation, and reached about 100 million by 2002.[Grammatical Error] Following the [article error] similar trend, the figure climb[Grammatical Error] to just under 60 million in 1982, after which it held steady at this level and then increased again to over 60 million tonnes in 2002. At the same time, the figure for the pipeline was [article error] lowest, although it increased more than seven-fold from 3 million to 21 million tonnes during the period.

    In contrast, the amount of goods delivered by the railway system declined [need a preposition]25 million tonnes in 1994 and increased sharply to 40 million tonnes in 2002.