Some people think the high sales of products reflect the power of advertising instead of the consumers’ demand. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing Some people think the high sales of products reflect the power of advertising instead of the consumers’ demand. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  • oceane
    University: Renmin University
    Nationality: Chinese
    April 3, 2021 at 1:44 am

    Some people think the high sales of products reflect the power of advertising instead of the consumers’ demand. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    There are many advertisements on television or on the streets today. Some people think that advertising boosts the sales of products and it encourages people to buy things unnecessarily. These arguments may be true.

    In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous and popular actors or singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their favourite singers advertise, although they do not really need the products. Also, on the television screen, a product may look more attractive. As a result, people often buy goods without enough consideration. Consumers may not actually need it, but they buy goods on impulse after they watch the advertising. Furthermore, an advertising campaign can make many customers buy a particular product. Therefore, other people may be affected by the trend, even if the product is not of the real needs of society.

    On the other hand, many people are not influenced by advertisements easily. Nowadays, more and more wise and rational consumers always tend to make the best decision whether to follow an advertisement or not. They really have the ability to identify the real intention of sellers.

    Furthermore, people have different levels of income, people will tend to allocate their budgets depending on their income. For example, people who have a limited salary will pay attention to every penny they spend, because a large part of their income has to be used for necessary expenses. Thus, these people are not likely to be controlled by advertisements. Otherwise, they cannot make ends meet and they are likely to borrow money from others endlessly or even go bankrupt.

    In conclusion, advertising encourages people to buy products. However, it is difficult to say that everyone is easily influenced by advertising.

    April 3, 2021 at 3:21 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    2. Replace unclear prepositions that contain unclear information. i.e., advertisements with famous…;
    3. Replace unclear pronouns (i.e., IT) with clear nouns.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.