Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • Jason_yin
    University: CUPL
    Nationality: China
    July 16, 2020 at 5:48 am

    Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Nowadays, the Internet has become a necessary part of our daily life, it is changing our lifestyle to some extent. Some people maintain that we could achieve useful information through Internet, while others may contradict the view by saying that too much information brought by internet has caused many problems. Generally, I stand on the side of the former one.

    By using the Internet, we can get large quantities of academic resources to help us recognize the latest academic progress. As we know, some newest findings may not be published on in time. However, they can be easily issued on electronic journals. Once upon a time, my teacher of criminal law required me to search the latest research about death penalty in various countries, but relevant books in the library were outdated, even the most recent research materials were behind the trend. When I was helpless, the librarian introduced some databases abundant in newest academic materials to me, helping me solve the problem.

    The Internet has increasingly become the most important channel to know domestic and foreign affairs. With the decline of newspaper industry, people, especially the young care about what happened around the world by using the Internet, no matter through their phones or computers. We can check the “Top News” in Wechat to know how many people died in different provinces or countries due to COVID-19. Since the Internet updates millions of news every second, it is more convenient than TV programs and newspapers.

    Admittedly, there exists some junk information on the Internet which just disturb our choices and waste our time. Big Internet companies put these information in their platforms and charge a great deal of advertisement fee without checking its authenticity. For instance, some patients look through the Internet to try to find hospitals specialized in their diseases, but some hospitals without license also appear on the suggestion list. If patients chose these hospitals, at the very least, they would lose time and energy. However, these problems can be solved by imposing restrictions on Internet companies or requiring them to review contents carefully.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    July 22, 2020 at 10:41 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Punctuation errors.
    2. Various article (the) errors.
    3. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    4. About 25% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.