The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  • Stephanie
    University: 吉林财经大学
    Nationality: 中国
    June 23, 2020 at 2:58 pm

    The maps below show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

    The diagrams illustrate the changes will be made to a center of Islip town which is supposed to develop to be more convenient for citizens.

    The town center is currently empty with only some shops, accommodations, a park and a school. In the future, there will be more transport compared to the situation nowadays, which makes the center more accessible to people living around it, such as bus and car, as there are bus stations and car parks. They will be on the north side of the street, which is only available to pedestrians, therefore people could hang out to the shops located on both sides of the street. Then, they can take the transport on the dual carriageway which forms as a circle to center.

    There will also be some new housings covering the north-eastern corner of the center, and some will be next to the park, as the size of the park may be decreased, so that the center could provide more places for people to live. Although school is not supposed to see more changes only on its size, which will be bigger, its environment around it is planned to change a lot, which will be beneficial for students there.

    Overall, while nowadays untouched, the town center is planning to have a variety of facilities which may built to cater for citizens’ need, such as traveling and entertainment.

    June 23, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 40% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.