The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • Gabriel
    University: SHUPL
    Nationality: China
    December 16, 2020 at 12:48 am

    The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

    More and more governments tend to put huge amount of expenses into space exploration research. From my perspective, I agree with the idea of focusing more cost on the improvement of public services rather than space programmes.

    There are several reasons why should the authority shut down the space programmes. Firstly, with more governments taking a large proportion of the budget to build spacecraft, there would be fierce space competitions between countries, which would eventually end up with economic depression. Secondly, since space programme seem to be far away from people`s daily life, it may bring about backlash or even protests among the society. Finally, space activities are extremely dangerous. For instance, the spacecraft disaster caused by a negligible error may lead to lives of astronauts.

    It is sensible and effective for the government to fund more money into public services. On one hand, the improvement of public service could offer more job positions, which may therefore alleviate stress on employability. On the other hand, it is socially acceptable for those in charge to put the spending in the places where benefit people`s welfare. For example, people are more easily to be satisfied when hearing of the positive changes in the infrastructure rather than the studies of spaceships which is completely irrelevant to their daily lives.

    In conclusion, it is more beneficial and helpful for the government to invest the budget into public services, while funding the space programmes seems to be a mere waste of time and money.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 16, 2020 at 4:22 am

    Score: 53.4

    Issues:

    1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Most of them are unnecessarily lengthy. Simplify or split them.
    Gabriel
    University: SHUPL
    Nationality: China
    December 16, 2020 at 2:51 pm

    More and more governments tend to put huge amounts of expenses into space exploration research. From my perspective, I agree with the idea that the funds should be allocated to public services rather than space programs.

    There are several reasons why the authority should shut down the space programs. Firstly, if more governments begin to spend a large proportion of their budgets on spacecraft, there would be fierce space competitions between countries, which would eventually end up with economic concession. Secondly, space programs could not benefit people`s daily lives, and most of which are just vanity projects of the politicians. Finally, space activities are extremely dangerous. For instance, the spacecraft disaster caused by a small technological error may lead to lives of astronauts.

    However, it is more sensible for the government to invest more money into public services. To begin with, vital public services could offer more job opportunities, which may therefore alleviate stress on employability. Furthermore, it is socially acceptable to put the spending in the places where benefit people`s welfare. For example, people are more easily satisfied when hearing of the positive changes in the infrastructure rather than the studies of spaceships that are completely irrelevant to their daily lives. Besides, it is much cheaper to train public servants such as teachers and doctors than it is to train astronauts and researchers working on space studies.

    In conclusion, investing expenditures into public services would definitely bring tangible benefits to the whole society, while funding the space programs seems to be a mere waste of time and money.

     

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 16, 2020 at 9:58 pm

    Score: 50.6

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Most of them are unnecessarily lengthy. Simplify or split them.
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. In consideration of sentence coherence, the subject of a sentence better echoes the subject, or the object, of the prior sentence. The subject of a passive sentence, however, often fails to do so, which severely damages the logical flow between sentences.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Gabriel
    University: SHUPL
    Nationality: China
    December 17, 2020 at 12:32 am

    Governments in some countries spend large amounts of money on space exploration
    programmes. I completely agree with the idea that these are a waste of money, and that
    the funds should be allocated to public services.

    There are several reasons why space programmes should be abandoned. Firstly, it is
    extremely expensive to train scientists and other staff involved with space missions, and
    facilities and equipment also come at a huge cost to the government. Secondly, these
    programmes do not benefit normal people in our daily lives; they are simply vanity projects
    for politicians. Finally, many missions to space fail completely, and the smallest
    technological error can cost astronauts their lives. The Challenger space shuttle disaster
    showed us that space travel is extremely dangerous, and in my opinion it is not worth the
    risk.

    I believe that the money from space programmes should go to vital public services instead.
    It is much cheaper to train doctors, teachers, police and other public service workers than
    it is to train astronauts or the scientists and engineers who work on space exploration
    projects. Furthermore, public servants do jobs that have a positive impact on every
    member of society. For example, we all use schools, hospitals and roads, and we all need
    the security that the police provide. If governments reallocated the money spent on space
    travel and research, many thousands of people could be lifted out of poverty or given a
    better quality of life.

    In conclusion, my view is that governments should spend money on services that benefit
    all members of society, and it is wrong to waste resources on projects that do not improve
    our everyday lives.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 18, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    Governments in some countries spend large amounts of money on space exploration
    programmes. I completely agree with the idea that these[unclear pronoun/use a noun/noun phrase   ] are a waste of money, [punctuation error  ] and that
    the funds should be allocated to public services.

    There are several reasons why space programmes should be abandoned. Firstly, it[ unclear pronoun/remove IT IS .. ] is
    extremely expensive to train scientists and other[ the ] staff involved with [ in support of ] space missions, and
    [. Also, the  ] facilities and equipment [ integral to such missions ] also come at a huge cost to the government. Secondly, these
    programmes do not benefit normal people in our daily lives[absolute statement. It is okay to put ‘these programs have not/did not benefit…because what happened is the fact. However, whether or not they benefit …is an open question (you used present tense)  because we will know the answer only in the future.  ] ; they are simply vanity projects
    for politicians. Finally, many missions to space fail[tense error  ] completely, and the[article error  ] smallest
    technological error can cost astronauts their lives. [ Lack of transition word ] The Challenger space shuttle disaster
    showed us that space travel is extremely dangerous, and in my opinion it is not worth the
    risk.

    I believe that the money from [expent/spent on  ] space programmes should go to vital public services instead.
    It[unclear pronoun  ] is much cheaper to train doctors, teachers, [article error  ] police and other public service workers than
    it is to train astronauts or the [article error  ] scientists and engineers who work on space exploration
    projects. Furthermore, public servants do jobs that have a positive [ positively impacting ] impact on every
    member of [ article error ] society. For example, we all use schools, hospitals and roads, and[so  ] we all need
    the security that the police provide. If governments reallocated the money spent on space
    travel and research, many thousands of people could be lifted out of poverty or given a
    better quality of life.

    In conclusion, my view is that governments should spend money on services that benefit
    all members of society, and it is wrong to waste resources on projects that do not improve
    our everyday lives.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 18, 2020 at 5:39 pm

    Score: Band 7