The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns.

  • yaoyihao
    University: 大连理工大学
    Nationality: 中国
    March 31, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    People now regard salary as an important factor to find a job due to ubiquitous financial pressure. While it’s my humble opinion that income is not the most essential aspect.

    Admittedly, the salary of a job determines the quality of our material life. There are many financial burdens for people such as debt for house, car, insurances and so on. Even as a student, I am under financial pressure because of tight allowance every month. Therefore, it would be necessary to attach importance to earning from a job.

    Nevertheless, people who would like to push themselves would prefer promotion chances of a job. What’s more, potential development chances can motivate employees to work harder. For example, my uncle worked for a media company before. But he was impatient with the job without promotion chances. After switching to another company, he dedicates to the new job to get promoted in his career. Consequently, sometimes chance of promotion is more appealing than the pay of it.

    Besides, the personal time after daily work is also a necessary aspect of a job. To be more specific, high salary cannot compensate for the personal life which is overwhelmed by infinite work. For instance, many elites who have earned enough money already barely have time to stay with their families. And it has no surprise that many of them may hold an opposite opinion that salary is relatively less important than personal time.

    Put it in a nutshell, the salary obviously is not the most important aspect to find a satisfying job. Since promotion chances or personal time would occupy a more important position.

    April 9, 2019 at 3:48 am

    Problems (4):

    This essay scores 47.9 in the test, which is considered VERY difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

    Passive voice: 21.1% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

    Sentence length: 42.1% of the sentences contain more than 20 words. Try to shorten the sentences.

    Reduce your essay to -320 words.

    Good results (3)

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Transition words: Well done!

    yaoyihao
    University: 大连理工大学
    Nationality: 中国
    April 9, 2019 at 11:18 am

    It’s very common that people regard the salary as an important factor to find a job due to the financial pressure from everywhere in the society. While it’s my humble opinion that the pay of the job is not the most essential aspect.

    Admittedly, the salary of a job determines the quantity of our material life. There are many financial burdens for people such as debt for houses, cars and insurances and so on. Even as a student I am under financial pressure because of tight allowance every month. Therefore, it would be necessary to attach importance to the pay of a job.

    Nevertheless, potential development of the career is more necessary for people who would like push themselves for better life. What’s more, the potential promotion can motivate employees to work harder. For example, my uncle worked for a media company before and was literarily satisfied with the salary at the beginning. But he was impatient about the job without chances to be promoted. After switching to another company, he dedicates to the new job to get promoted in his career.

    Consequently, sometimes the promotion chances of a job is more appealing than the pay of it.
    Besides, I think that the personal time after daily work is also important to ponder. To be more specific, if employees’ personal life is overwhelmed by the infinite work, even a high salary job would not satisfy them because of the unbalance between the job and their personal life. For instance, many elites who have earned enough money already barely have time to stay with their families. Not surprisingly, many of them would also hold an opposite opinion that salary is less important than personal time.

    Put it in a nutshell, the money a person earns obviously is not the most important factor when it comes to job. Since sometimes promotion chances and personal time also play important roles in people’s life.

    April 10, 2019 at 3:52 am

    Problems (3)

    The essay scores 47.2 in the test, which is considered very difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

    Passive voice: 27.6% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

    Limit your essay to 320 words.

    Good results (4)

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Transition words: Well done!

    April 10, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Problems (2)

    This essay scores 49.5 in the test, which is considered difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

    Passive voice: 22.2% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

    Many articles “the” should be removed.

    Good results (4)

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Sentence length: Great!

    Transition words: Well done!

    yaoyihao
    University: 大连理工大学
    Nationality: 中国
    April 11, 2019 at 11:34 am

    People now regard salary as an important factor to find a job due to ubiquitous financial pressure. While it’s my humble opinion that pay of the job is not the most essential aspect.

    Admittedly, the salary of a job determines quality of our material life. There are many financial burdens for people such as debt for house, car, insurances and so on. Even as a student, I am under financial pressure because of tight allowance every month. Therefore, it would be necessary to attach importance to pay of a job.

    Nevertheless, people who would like push themselves would prefer promotion chances of a job. What’s more, potential development chances can motivate employees to work harder. For example, my uncle worked for a media company before and was satisfied with the salary at the beginning. But he was impatient with the job without promotion chances. After switching to another company, he dedicates to the new job to get promoted in his career. Consequently, sometimes promotion chance of a job is more appealing than the pay of it.

    Besides, the personal time after daily work is also a necessary aspect of a job. To be more specific, high salary cannot compensate for the personal life which is overwhelmed by infinite work. For instance, many elites who have earned enough money already barely have time to stay with their families. And it has no surprise that many of them may hold an opposite opinion that salary is relatively less important than personal time.

    Put it in a nutshell, the salary obviously is not the most important aspect to find a satisfied job. Since promotion chances or personal time would occupy a more important position.

    April 11, 2019 at 5:16 pm

    Problems (3)

    The copy scores 49.8 in the test, which is considered difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

    Passive voice: 16.7% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

    Reduce the number of adverbs; try to use forceful verbs instead.

    Good results (4)

    Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

    Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

    Sentence length: Great!

    Transition words: Well done!

    yaoyihao
    University: 大连理工大学
    Nationality: 中国
    April 12, 2019 at 11:19 am

    People now regard salary as an important factor to find a job due to ubiquitous financial pressure. While it’s my humble opinion that income is not the most essential aspect.

    Admittedly, the salary of a job determines the quality of our material life. There are many financial burdens for people such as debt for house, car, insurances and so on. Even as a student, I am under financial pressure because of tight allowance every month. Therefore, it would be necessary to attach importance to earning from a job.

    Nevertheless, people who would like to push themselves would prefer promotion chances of a job. What’s more, potential development chances can motivate employees to work harder. For example, my uncle worked for a media company before. But he was impatient with the job without promotion chances. After switching to another company, he dedicates to the new job to get promoted in his career. Consequently, sometimes chance of promotion is more appealing than the pay of it.

    Besides, the personal time after daily work is also a necessary aspect of a job. To be more specific, high salary cannot compensate for the personal life which is overwhelmed by infinite work. For instance, many elites who have earned enough money already barely have time to stay with their families. And it has no surprise that many of them may hold an opposite opinion that salary is relatively less important than personal time.

    Put it in a nutshell, the salary obviously is not the most important aspect to find a satisfying job. Since promotion chances or personal time would occupy a more important position.

    April 13, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Report from WritersForMe.com

    SCORE

    58.9

    PROBLEMS

    • Excessive grammatical errors;
    • Excessive use of passive-voice sentences (reduce to less than 5%);
    • Excessive use of adverbs (either remove unnecessary adverbs or substitute them with forceful verbs);
    • Convention errors (check sentence spacing);
    • Punctuation errors (check online how to use comma and semicolon within a sentence or between sentences/clauses);
    • Vocabulary/Variety (avoid using same words/expressions).

    GOOD POINTS

    • Sentence flow: Great!
    • Paragraph Lenth: Great!
    • Transition Words:  Great
    April 14, 2019 at 3:23 am