The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  • writingfighting
    University: 东北大学
    Nationality: 中国
    February 15, 2020 at 5:29 am

    The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Along with the rapid advancement of economy, people pay increasing attention to improving the quality of life. Apparently, to achieve this kind of thing, money is indispensable. Therefore, when it comes to considering the factors to take up a job, people have a large tendency to sign up for a profitable job. As for me, money is one but not the most crucial part to choose a job.

    Admittedly, it is not wrong to chase for a high quality life. And also money plays a more dominant role in our daily life, however, this dose not mean that we have to mull over money as the largest percentage to choose a job. Unhealthy life routines consequent upon the busy work with high rewards can’t be denied. That staying up late for most of the nights and having midnight snacks results in the bad outcomes.

    Interests, a never-old topic, plays a significant part in making the choice. How much we interest in the work defines how much we can devote ourselves in it. When we combine interests and jobs together, it will always have positive results. Bill Gates, the father of Microsoft, had access to computers in middle school for the first time, attracted by these machines immediately. From then on, he aroused great interests in computers, learning knowledge from seniors. And then his great interests towards computer got him the great job-the CEO of Microsoft.

    Making jobs meaningful can also make our life meaningful. In the future, when we retired, recalling the past decades years and making conclusion for our works, sincerely, I hope that I can define my work as meaningful, not just a big amount of money. For instance, when people speak of Zhong Nanshan, the imagine that occurs to them is the contribution he made in SARS. These people make the ‘job’ more than a ‘job’.

    In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I do consider that payment of a job is indeed important, however, it is not the crucial aspect. Taking jobs out of interests and take a meaningful job are much more vital.

    February 15, 2020 at 5:17 pm

    Score: 70

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.