Which do you think is the most important factor to improve people’s working efficiency? 1.Having a working environment which is free of noise and distractions. 2.Knowing that they will be rewarded 3.Doing jobs they are interested in.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Which do you think is the most important factor to improve people’s working efficiency? 1.Having a working environment which is free of noise and distractions. 2.Knowing that they will be rewarded 3.Doing jobs they are interested in.

  • Chen Zequn
    University: Wuhan University of Technology
    Nationality: China
    July 6, 2020 at 10:08 am

    Which do you think is the most important factor to improve people’s working efficiency? 1.Having a working environment which is free of noise and distractions. 2.Knowing that they will be rewarded 3.Doing jobs they are interested in.

    Nowadays, many people are discussing about the methods of boosting working efficiency. Some people believe that the award is the most vital factor, while others figure that taking positions interest them is the wisest choice. From my perspective, working in the environment free from distractions is the best solution.

    Initially, working in a place without distractions will undoubtedly improve our efficiency. If we are working in place filled with noises, we will feel annoyed and distracted, which distracts us from our jobs and lowers the efficiency. However, a quiet workplace enables us to totally focus on the work. For example, last day I was doing my mathematics homework at home, being interrupted frequently by my neighbor’s song-singing. In the past I could always finish the homework with the similar difficulty within 2 hours, but it took me 4 hours to work out those math problems yesterday. Therefore, a quiet environment is the key to high efficiency.

    In addition, knowing that we will get some bonus after completing the job does enhance the efficiency, but it is not as imperative as a quiet working place. Maybe the reward can serve as the internal motivation, however, it cannot take the place of the importance of quietness. Though we clearly know that we can get the promotion after finishing the job, it is still impossible for us to stay focused in a place with loud music, people’s yelling and noises of construction.

    What is more, doing jobs interest us plays an even weaker role in promoting the efficiency compared with rewards. This is because the most necessary motivation for taking jobs is earning money, not obtaining happiness. If people have to take jobs with few salaries, though the positions themselves are interesting, I believe most people will have little impetus to concentrate on the job, which results in low efficiency.

    Finally, working in an environment without distractions is the most irreplaceable way to improve efficiency. Only if we work in a quiet place can we fully focus on what we are doing and achieve higher efficiency.

    July 7, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Nowadays, many people are discussing about the methods of boosting working efficiency. Some people believe that the award is the most vital factor, while others figure that taking positions interest them is the wisest choice. From my perspective, working in the environment free from distractions is the best solution.[Rewrite using your own words.  ]

    Initially, working in a place without distractions will undoubtedly improve our efficiency. If we are working in place filled with noises, we will feel annoyed and distracted, which distracts us from our jobs and lowers the efficiency. However, a quiet workplace enables us to totally focus on the work. For example, last day I was doing my mathematics homework at home, being interrupted frequently by my neighbor’s song-singing. In the past I could always finish the homework with the similar difficulty within 2 hours, but it took me 4 hours to work out those math problems yesterday. Therefore, a quiet environment is the key to high efficiency.

    In addition, knowing that we will get some bonus after completing the job does enhance the efficiency, but it is not as imperative as a quiet working place. Maybe the reward can serve as the internal motivation, however, it cannot take the place of the importance of quietness. Though we clearly know that we can get the promotion after finishing the job, it is still impossible for us to stay focused in a place with loud music, people’s yelling and noises of construction.

    What is more, doing jobs interest us plays an even weaker role in promoting the efficiency compared with rewards. This is because the most necessary motivation for taking jobs is earning money, not obtaining happiness. If people have to take jobs with few salaries, though the positions themselves are interesting, I believe most people will have little impetus to concentrate on the job, which results in low efficiency.

    Finally, working in an environment without distractions is the most irreplaceable way to improve efficiency. Only if we work in a quiet place can we fully focus on what we are doing and achieve higher efficiency.

    July 7, 2020 at 8:38 pm

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