The most important problems affecting our society today can be solved during my lifetime.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them.
2. About 20% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. 
3. Lengthy paragraphs. Shorten each paragraph to 90- words.
4. Some grammatical and article problems.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Our world is facing unprecedented crises in history: [including  ]climate change, [ the COVID-19 ]Covid-19 pandemic, social injustice, and so forth. While some might say these problems are impossible to solve, I would be [am  ]confident of[about / or say ‘ I hold the optimism for ] humankind’s capacity and optimistic about our world’s future[of resolving all these challenges in my lifetime  ]. I honestly believe I could see those problems solved during my lifetime.

Throughout history, [From the Stone Age to the Third Technology Revolution,    ]human beings have confronted [ and solved  ]numerous challenges from the Stone Age to the Third Technology Revolution. Our ancestors living [The ancient people who lived   ]in the remote caves in Africa[ , for instance,  ] were dealing with the risk of [faced attacking threats from   ]predators like lions and tigers every single day[ logical incompleteness  ]. Several hundreds of years later, we [ As time unfolded, humans eventually  ]became the paramount species through teamwork, wisdom, and perseverance. After nuclear weapons [ were  ]invented, many were afraid of the outbreak of [ a  ]nuclear war. Because it was estimated[once it broke out, the whole amount of dusts released by the explosion of nuclear weapons would block the sunlight and bring about the longest winter in human history.][ wordy/unclear  ] One hundred years later, [  During the prior century, ]even though there were tensions between empires like the USA and the Soviet Union, [two global superpowers,   ]we only saw [ only  ]the Cold War instead of the Nuclear War. [ In fact, many  ]Lots of international agreements on nuclear weapon usages have been [were   ]signed[  /concluded ] between countries, aiming to reduce the quantity of nuclear weapons gradually down to zero. Those successful instances above displays[ symbolize  ] how smart we humankinds[ humankind’s ingenuity  ] are and comfort[minimize   ] our anxiety of [ for  ]the future.

It is true we are confronting severe crisis [ crises  ]now (and the very few is treating them serously)[unclear   ]. However, (I believe as long as we see the consequences such as possible extinction, the whole world would definitely work together to solve them, for no one can risk the cost of its life)[ unclear/wordy/lots of grammatical errors  ].

To sum up, I believe in human efforts and wisdom. (The long history has repeatedly proven it)[ unclear, choppy sentence  ]. Each generation has its own crises to face, [ logically disconnected here  ]and it turned out we have done great so far. Therefore, I would say proudly and confidently, [ with confidence that  ](problems in front of us are bound to be solved during my lifetime)[repetitive writing without new informatin introduced   ]. And I look forward to that.