The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. IELTS Writing The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

  • Ronnie
    University: North China University of Water Resources and Electric Power
    Nationality: China
    February 5, 2020 at 8:33 am

    The number of elderly people in the world is increasing. What do you think are the positive and negative effects of this trend?

    Aging has been a popular topic in many countries recently. It may cause many problems to our society. From my perspectives, i consider that aging trend do have a lot of adverse aspects but still has something beneficial.

    Aging trend, admittedly, owing to the lack of labour force, has brought low productivity to our society as a whole. This in turn cause obstacles to social capital and then trigger economic crisis. Moreover, with the increasing number of the old, the problems of how to manage such a big group also occur, which includes family, economy and society so on. Pension service should be vigorously expanded to simplify and satisfy them life in all aspects. Therefore, aging will cost the country much raise them.

    However, do the old do nothing to us? Although they can not contribute to our society by their physical, they could help us with their valuable experience accumulated over the span of their life. In other words, the old could be acting as an instructor for the young generation to help them avoid the mistakes they have went through, which is the another way to devote themselves. Many basketball players, for instance, like Kobe Bryant, start being a coach after retirement, help and leading those young grow in a right track.

    In conclusion, aging trend indeed has introduced many disadvantages into our society; nevertheless, which also have many value in some points. The key point here for the country is how to reduce its bad effect and make the best of its value.

    February 6, 2020 at 2:13 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues

    1. More than 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.