The rapid growth of cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of the society.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing The rapid growth of cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of the society.

  • SayGoodbye
    University: secret
    Nationality: China
    April 27, 2021 at 6:10 pm

    The rapid growth of cities has a mostly positive impact on the development of the society.

    Recent years has seen the tremendous expansion of the metropolises. Some people may advocate that this urban sprawl will bring great benefits to society. I, however, disagree with that statement.

    True, the recent growth in urban areas has made numerous desirable changes in cities. One is that dwellers have access to better transport facilities. Urban industries and companies also offer huge opportunities to professionals and entrepreneurs. However, if a city continues to grow at a phenomenal rate, it has more negative effects than positive ones.

    Ongoing rapid urbanization usually contributes to a decline in people’s living standards. That’s because the world’s biggest cities are alluring immigrants the way giant sponges are sucking the water out of their surrounding areas. Such a surge of new inhabitants would place a great strain on resources like city-centric education, healthcare and other amenities. Chances are that the government finds it difficult to cover rising social welfare costs linked to an increasing population. Meanwhile, governments may struggle to provide adequate education to a growing population because it is not a small task but necessitates billions to pull it off, entailing a sheer number of qualified teachers.

    A rapid urban growth also brings negative impacts on local environment. Since it is very difficult to accommodate this rapid expansion in urban dwelling, inner-city rents and house prices have skyrocketed, which drive people, especially those less well-off, to live on the outskirts of cities where rent is lower. Affordable homes come at the expense of convenient traffic. People have to spend long hours on trains, private cars or buses day in and day out. Therefore, the increasing use of cars, most of which are powered by fossil fuels, will emit exhaust fumes, leading to severe air pollution and respiratory diseases such as asthma. By contrast, if the city’s growth slows down, the government will have enough time to conduct good urban planning, such as building satellite cities, helping diffuse the population. Then, the states can build urban infrastructure and control the number of cars, and thus the pollution in the city would not be so seriously now.

    April 28, 2021 at 2:30 am

     

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. Lengthy paragraphs; restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SayGoodbye
    University: secret
    Nationality: China
    April 28, 2021 at 10:56 am

    Recent years have seen the tremendous expansion of the metropolises. Therefore, some people advocate that this urban sprawl is of benefit to society. I disagree.

    Admittedly, many new opportunities are opening up with a rapid urban growth. One is that city dwellers have access to more chance of getting a decent job. From world-famous companies, investment banks, film studios to local factories, they all prefer big cities, therefore providing various jobs for all kinds of job seekers in cities. Communities can also benefit from adapting historic buildings to suit modern needs. As the rehabilitation of the Vogue Theatre in Manistee, Michigan, shows, renovating such buildings can be a source of community spirit and economic growth.

    However, if a city continues to grow at a phenomenal rate, it has more negative effects than positive ones. Ongoing rapid urbanization usually contributes to a deterioration in the living standards. This has primarily happened due to the mass migration to cities. Because of a surge of immigrants, local cities don’t have a corresponding increase in resources such as education, health care and other amenities. As a result, governments may run the risk of inadequate schools and insufficient budget to cover rising social welfare costs. It is thus unsurprising that one-third of the urban population in developing countries resides in slum conditions.

    Urban growth also brings negative impacts on the local environment. Since it is hard to accommodate this rapid expansion in urban-dwelling, the supply of housing can’t keep up with demand. As a result, inner-city rents soar and drive people, especially those less well-off, to live on the outskirts of cities where rent is lower. Affordable homes come at the expense of convenient traffic. People have to spend long hours on trains, private cars or buses day in and day out. What is worse, Vehicle missions will cause air pollution, leading to severe respiratory diseases such as asthma. By contrast, if urban development slows down, these problems could be resolved by building satellite cities, a measure aims to help diffuse the population, enlarge infrastructure and limit the number of cars in the city.

    April 29, 2021 at 6:22 pm

    Recent years have seen the[article error  ]( tremendous expansion of the[article error  ] metropolises)[ unclear ]. Therefore[ incorrect transition ], some people advocate that this urban sprawl is[ grammatical error ] of benefit to society. [ With respect, ]I disagree.

    Admittedly, (many new opportunities)[ irrelevant to the topic ] are (opening up)[unclear  ] with a[article error  ] rapid urban growth. One is that city[/urban  ] dwellers have access to more chance[word form error  ] of getting a decent job. From world-famous companies, investment banks, film studios to local factories, they[unclear pronoun  ] (all prefer)[ zero-conditional ] big cities, therefore providing various[ many ] jobs for (all kinds)[zero-conditional  ] of job seekers in cities. Communities can also benefit from adapting historic buildings to suit modern needs. As the rehabilitation of the Vogue Theatre in Manistee, Michigan, shows, renovating such buildings can be a source of [fosters  ]community spirit and [ facilitates ]economic growth.

    However, if a city continues to grow at a phenomenal rate, it has [rapid city expansion also brings  ]more negative effects than positive ones. Ongoing rapid urbanization usually contributes to a deterioration in the living standards. This has primarily happened due to the [For instance,  ]mass migration to cities [ can reduce urban educational, health care and living standards due to limited available resources ]. Because of a surge of immigrants, local cities don’t have a corresponding increase in resources such as education, health care and other amenities. As a result, governments may run the risk of inadequate schools and insufficient budget to cover rising social welfare costs. It is thus unsurprising that one-third of the urban population in developing countries resides in slum conditions.[factual error: need proof for this  ]

    Urban growth also brings[ /creates ] negative impacts[word form error  ] on the local environment. Since it is hard to accommodate [ accomodating ]this rapid expansion in urban-dwelling [requires/involves expanded residential capacities  ], the supply of housing (can’t)[zero-conditional  ] keep up with[article error  ] demand. As a result, inner-city rents[leasing price rises  ] soar and (drive people)[ unclear ], (especially those less well-off)[ misplaced ], to live on the outskirts of cities where rent is lower. Affordable homes come at the expense of convenient traffic. People have to spend long hours on trains, private cars or buses day in and day out. What is worse, Vehicle missions will cause air pollution, leading to severe respiratory diseases such as asthma. By contrast, if urban development slows down, these problems could be resolved by building satellite cities, a measure aims to help diffuse the population, enlarge infrastructure and limit the number of cars in the city.

    SayGoodbye
    University: secret
    Nationality: China
    April 30, 2021 at 8:40 am

    The long-running issue of whether the rapid growth of cities nowadays is mostly a positive development for society surfaced again recently. Some people may take side with it, But a few are more skeptical, asserting that urbanization do not come without a cost. I agree with the latter.

    Admittedly,  the rapid urban growth has made numerous desirable changes in cities. One is that city /urban  dwellers have access to more chances of getting a decent job. From world-famous companies, investment banks, film studios to local factories, all of them would prefer big cities, therefore providing  many jobs for job seekers in cities. Communities can also benefit from adapting historic buildings to modern needs. As the rehabilitation of the Vogue Theatre in Manistee, Michigan, shows, renovating such buildings fosters  community spirit and  facilitates  economic growth.

    However, rapid city expansion also brings  more negative effects than positive ones. For instance,  mass migration to cities  can reduce urban educational, health care and living standards due to limited available resources.  Since accommodating   this rapid expansion in urban-dwelling  requires/involves expanded residential capacities, the supply of housing may not keep up with the demand. As a result, leasing price rises, which drives less well-off immigrants to live on the outskirts of cities where rent is lower. What’s worse, some immigrants crowd into shared houses or even sleeping in garden sheds and garages.  It is thus unsurprising that one-third of the urban population in developing countries resides in slum conditions.

    Urban sprawl also brings /creates  negative impact on the local environment.  Many modern cities are crowded, traffic-ridden, polluted and devoid of green spaces. The increasing use of private cars,  most of which are powered by fossil fuels,  creates a variety of serious environmental problems, such as global warming, acid rains, and urban smog.  The particles released by the incomplete burning of fossil fuels give rise to urban smog, which cause many respiratory diseases, for instance, asthma. The infamous smog of London in the 1950s is a case in point.

    April 30, 2021 at 7:21 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing)
    2. About 15% of the sentences are passive; convert them into their active counterparts. (10%- qualifies for non-software TOEFL/IELTS/GRE writing revision );
    3. Lots of spacing errors.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    SayGoodbye
    University: secret
    Nationality: China
    May 2, 2021 at 7:10 am

    Opinions differ as to whether the rapid growth of cities nowadays is mostly a positive development for society. Some may take side with it; but a few are more skeptical, asserting that urbanization does not come without a cost. I agree with the latter.

    Admittedly,  the rapid urban growth has made numerous desirable changes in cities. One is that city dwellers have access to more chances of getting a decent job. From world-famous companies, investment banks, film studios to local factories, all of them prefer big cities, therefore providing many jobs for job seekers in cities. Communities can also benefit from adapting historic buildings to modern needs. As the rehabilitation of the Vogue Theatre in Manistee, Michigan, shows, renovating such buildings fosters community spirit and facilitates economic growth.

    However, rapid city expansion brings more negative effects than positive ones. A typical case in point is mass migration to cities, which can lead to insufficient schools, increased health care costs and a deterioration in living standards due to limited available resources. Since accommodating this rapid expansion in urban dwelling requires expanded residential capacities, the supply of housing may not keep up with the demand. As a result, a rise in leasing prices drives some less well-off immigrants to live on the outskirts of cities. Other immigrants end up crowding into shared houses or even sleeping in garden sheds and garages. It is thus unsurprising that one-third of the urban population in developing countries resides in slum conditions.

    Urban sprawl also creates negative impact on the local environment. Many modern cities are crowded, traffic-ridden, polluted and devoid of green spaces. The increasing use of private cars, most of which are powered by fossil fuels, creates global warming, acid rains, and urban smog. The particles released by the incomplete burning of fossil fuels give rise to urban smog, which causes many respiratory diseases such as asthma. The infamous smog of London in the 1950s is a case in point.

    May 3, 2021 at 5:14 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Simplify or split them. (TOEFL/IELTS: 15%- qualifies for non-software revision; 30% applies to GRE writing).

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.